Saturday, December 16, 2006

News From Around the Globe (& My Apologies)


First off, I'm sorry I've been away for so long. House/Computer/Time issues shouldn't be excuses, so I'm just going to leave it at "sorry - please forgive me".

Moving forward:

I'd like to lead off today with a story that recently caught my eye, regarding the fate of Scotland's Grey Squirrel population. In a project approved by the Scottish Ministers, Grey Squirrels in select areas are being given contraceptives in an effort to slow their rampant population growth. This comes after the previous method of "cranial dispatch" (described bluntly as a sharp blow to the head) went out of favor.

The animals have spread across Scotland's woodlands in recent years and are becoming a threat to Red Squirrel populations and the sanity of many rurally situated humans. The biggest fear is that the contraceptives will be ingested by other animals - like the native Footballius Hoodlumus - prompting swift drops in the population level of species NOT threatening the ecosystem. Yep.


In other news, an Aussie wildlife worker pulled a 7' python out of some woman's john. He's quoted as saying "Crikey! The hell did you do, piss that thing out?"...or something to that effect.


Finally today, let's head to Florida, where 3 million (no, that's no a typo) bees were removed from a home in Miami Beach, along with the 66 lbs of honey left in their wake. I'll cut & paste the rest, because it just plain speaks for itself: "The bees appeared two years ago and the owner had been telling a TV crew how they had failed to get rid of them when he ran from the house, yelling: 'They're biting me!'"

Like sands through the hourglass, blah blah blah.

See you in the funny pages...
(feels all kinds of good to type that again)

PS - the pic up top is from NASA's image of the day archive...the 2nd best RSS feed out there - period.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

USB Missle Launcher

Cube Warfare.

It's the dirty little secret of Corporate America. Getting the drop on that ass-hat that sits just over the half wall on your right, be it by way of a leaky coffee cup, or shrinkwrapping his cube shut and filling it with shipping popcorn while he's away on vacation, is something that anyone who has ever had to use the "C" word to describe their workplace knows the trappings of all too well.

Well folks, the ante has been upped.

Meet the USB Missle Launcher. Pesky co-workers always coming around the corner just as you're trying to bid on that Captain Kirk coffee mug? Boss always doing the Lumbergh Lean on your cube wall? Well, shoot 'em up.

According to, this little bundle of USB goodness is "the state-of-the-art deterrent against those bored and aggravating individuals that loiter around your desk when thereÂ’s nothing better for them to do".

You said it, Kleargear. Have at it, Hoss.

See you in the funny pages...

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

A quickie...

Atlas shrugged, and today - ze frank blinked. Holy shenanigans, I swear that swine just glided past the window over my hope chest...

Two Unrelated Items...methinks

Item 1:

As I'm sure most of you know, the results of yesterday's mid-term elections directly correlate to the general dissatisfaction with the GOP's tenure as the dominant party. Across the nation, much of what was red went blue, and most of what was blue stayed so. In my own fair state of Massachusetts, we saw a resounding return to the traditional blue the Commonwealth is known for.

Is this necessarily a good thing?

I tend to be wary of either party's control over too much of the government, at either the national or state level. This doesn't mean that I've lost faith in the democratic process that got us here, it just means that all your eggs in one basket can either make for one damn good omelet, or one big ginormous clusterfuck - with the latter being the more common outcome.

With that in mind, I'd like to say this: Dear Deval Patrick, please don't fuck this up. You've got a chance to make a real difference in Massachusetts, and if you don't, you're going to do all kinds of damage to a party that, despite the results of these mid-term elections, just can't take many more big hits before they start to wallow in irrelevance with a certain senator who ran for president, and that guy who invented the internet.

As far as who got my vote, I'm not going to divulge that information. When I thought about this post earlier in the morning, I was going to do it - but a conversation with a carpenter changed my mind. When I mentioned the elections to him this morning, he said "You know, no matter who you vote for, it seems like you lose." True, this is the cop out for many people who just don't bother educating themselves about campaigns and can't be bothered to venture out to the polls - but not in this case. I know which way his vote was cast, and he knows which way I cast mine. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Item 2:

In El Cerrito, CA, and I quote, "A man was arrested on suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon after police found him outdoors -- naked -- and he told them he had a tool in his rectum...The man was lying on a tree stump, masturbating beside a nature path, near a Bay Area Rapid Transit station Thursday...John Sheehan, 33, of Pittsburg, [was] initially arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure...when asked whether he was carrying anything police should know about, Sheehan mentioned the tool..Officers drew their weapons and firefighters were called to the scene. Sheehan removed a 6-inch metal awl wrapped in black electrical tape without incident"

Unrelated. Yep. Totally un-related.

I'll go with the cops on this one: "You can't get much more concealed than that."

See you in the funny pages...

PS - I heart blog comments, and now they forward directly to my blackberry --- keep 'em comin!!!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Good Tuesday!

Today's Top Story: Viennese Man Is Confirmed As Moron

Yesterday, a Viennese man severed his own ring finger and presented it, with wedding band still strapped on, to his ex-wife after an acrimonious divorce.

He was charged with dangerous harassment.

This begs the obvious question of "Dude, what the hell is wrong with you?"

You really showed her, ass-hat. You're supposed to cut off your nose to spite your face, not sever a finger to spite your already ex-wife.


An Unrelated Note: Read about how dynamite can save the forest, here.


And finally - I know I said I wouldn't, but this is just so funny...

See you in the funny pages...

Monday, November 06, 2006

Hell Hath No Fury...

I've been scolded.

It's true - my blogging efforts have not been up to par as of late, and apparently I'm not the only one who thinks so. So much so, it would seem, that the need for late night phone calls (a bit akin to the ones that Elaine starts getting from the AMA on Seinfeld when she tries to steal her chart from the Doctor's office) has arisen.

In the guise of "did you just text me?", was hidden "why the hell have you posted nothing decent, recently?".

So you know not seems, you say? Well here it is in plainer text: I'm sorry I haven't been blogging about anything but silly television commercials for the last few weeks. I'd say I've been "busy", but we all know how far fetched that is...

Anyone know an artist (of the 'graphic novel' variety) looking to put together a project? I'm thinking Gary Frank-esque...

See you in the funny pages...

Friday, November 03, 2006

Naked Skateboarding Girls

If I had any explanation for why I find this so funny - I'd offer it. But I don't, so I can't.

PS - For anyone that knows it, just picture all this happening on the Andover bypass.

Friday, October 20, 2006

More Wacky Commercials

If anyone knows where this was actually on the air - please let me know. Click the big blank space below to start the video.

Direct link to vid

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

News (Totally) Worth Noting

Numbers Games

#118: Ununoctium

The periodic table is set to receive its latest addition (#118)
with the "discovery" of ununoctium. Not only is this substance
brand spanking new - but it's also the heaviest substance ever.

Scientists claim that as the atoms only lived for a few milliseconds,
they'll likely never know much about it in great detail - though they
do say it's likely the element hasn't existed since the universe was
in its infancy.

#300 Million

The U.s. Census Bureau has predicted that at 7:34 yesterday morning
a hispanic male was born somewhere in Los Angeles County, bringing the
population of these United States to 300 million.

This growth, referred to as "cancerous" by certain environmental blogs,
must be taken with a grain of salt - a really big grain of salt.

"The figure might actually be something like 260 million Americans,
and 40 million guests, some of whom are uninvited," said, a nationalist blog.

So what about the average Joe? Andrew Oxton, 27, of San Francisco says
"The more the merrier...doesn't bother me either way." Mike, from Massachusettsts
and who declined to have his last name mentioned, offered this dissenting opinion:
"Yes, I do think this country is too overcrowded. There are so many
people who get in your way when you go to Dunkin' Donuts in the morning."

See you in the funny pages...

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

News (Almost) Worth Noting

Crime-infested city goes pink

The crime-infested Indian city of Aurangabad is
being painted pink in the hope that an image makeover
will lift the sagging morale of residents who are
fed up with the decline in law and order.

This action comes after previous makeover plans,
including daisies being handed out on street corners
and smily-face stickers being attached to all traffic violations,
failed to lift the city's mood.

Four killed in pothole fight

Four people died and three were injured after an argument
over who should repair a pothole in a rural road in Mexico
erupted in to gunfire. Two of the wounded were listed in
serious condition at a local hospital, one with part of his jaw blown off.

Police said pistols, rifles and assault rifles were used
in the gun battle, which erupted between two families in the
mountain region of Pantelho.

Both families operate bus or truck services, and the
heavy vehicles wear down local roads. Road repairs, which are
often left to locals, are a sensitive issue.

In other news, a slap-fight erupted between soccer moms in Belmont, MA
over a similar issue.

Both are home, and listed as unforgivably stupid.

The "What The?!?" Award of the Week

Scarlett Johansson: Diva?

During my blog crawl this morning, I came across this bit of information:

"Scarlett Sings Tom Waits" is being recorded now and through the winter, with a possible release next spring from Rhino Records' recently reactivated Atco label. The eventual release date will be coordinated with Johansson's movie schedule.

Fear not, though. Unlike some other recent pop tarts, Scarlett who turns 22 next month can actually sing; she is no Paris Hilton. Also, her choice of material is a tad more sophisticated. She's making a whole album of songs by Tom Waits, one of the premier singer-songwriters in the business."

Ooooh. Please tell me that y'all are as devastatingly excited as I am.

See you in the funny pages...

Monday, October 16, 2006

Today's Feature: Water Balloons

Let's start with a water balloon explosion, in very slow motion. (Yes - it's playing)

And now let's move on to practical application: (embedded video may take a bit to load - here's a direct link)

Thursday, October 12, 2006

The Sexiest Vowels In "Rock"

Since my sabbatical (unemployment) got underway, I've spent quite a lot of time recommitting myself to those to-do's on a list that had become more like never-get-around-to's while I was working full time. Among these are work on a new cd of original music, a 'finished' screenplay, and fleshing out at least 12 issues of script for a comic I'm working on (anyone know an artist looking to break in?).

Today, let's focus on something related to musical endeavors.

I've been listening to more music lately. Specifically, more of the type of music that up until sabbatical began - I didn't take the time to listen to. Having my background training in classical music makes listening to most of what's on the air these days...painful. Ours is a time where auto-tune has replaced in-tune & where rolling all around a note before crashing down onto it with a constipated look on your face is viewed as "soulful" (thanks American Idol, for propagating this theory).

It's for these reasons that I want to take time for a Rebel Yell shout out to Amy Lee, of the group Evanescence. I wasn't thrilled with their previous albums, and I doubt I'll be amazed by the new one - but I am thoroughly impressed with Ms. Lee.

Her voice is rich and deep, and you can imagine it chanting "Canzonetta Sul'aria" just as easily as it calls out "Call Me When You're Sober". Ms. Lee has almost perfected the art of subtle rolls around key notes, and barely misses a cue to crescendo (no, that's not the same as "louder"). She's also demonstrated that she knows the difference between "Aaaa" and "Aahhh" - something most vocalists have either never learned, or have long since forgotten.

So here's to you, Amy Lee. You've got the sexiest damn vowels in "rock".

See you in the funny pages...

PS - I tried calling Amy the last time I was sober, now I'm not allowed within 200 feet of her.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Breakfast-time Snack...from the 80s

From way back when in yesteryear, it's the She-Ra & He-Man Sexual Harassment PSA. Enjoy.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Proof that American commercials are lame

If you didn't already know it, American commercials tend to lack shall I put this one...sense of humor that's commonplace in so many foreign counterparts. In defense of my position on this, I submit exhibits #1 & #2.

Exhibit #1:

Canadians think men would care about breast cancer if they...

Exhibit #2:

Travelocity would either double its business - or go bankrupt - if this commercial aired stateside.

See you in the funny pages...

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

The Big Dig Explained

For those readers not in the Greater Boston area, let me preface what you're about to watch with this: The "Big Dig" aka the Biggest clusterfuck in the history of urban planning and construction has, since breaking ground in 1989, endeavored to alleviate the insane amount of traffic in downtown Boston by, among other things, burying I-93 under the city's streets.

Also included in the Big Shit-Show were the re-routing of highway on and off ramps, the construction of new tunnels to get TO the highway (which are never actually open, because there's always work being done), and an all around steady increase in the collective frustration with whatever nutjob figured that since the mafia had fallen on hard times - now would be a good time to help them back on to their feet with some lucrative construction contracts.

Christy Mihos, the "independent" candidate for governor in Massachusetts had this to say:

See you in the funny pages...

*The Rebel Yell does not endorse Christy Mihos for Governor, nor do we endorse proposed legislation that would prohibit the placing of squirrels down one's pants for the purposes of gambling. We do however support cock-fighting, nutella, and slap-happy jockeying.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Goat Promoted

This one is so ridiculous, that I've pasted the original text of the "news story" below. Enjoy. I know I did.

"A disgraced British army goat has been reinstated to his rank of lance-corporal after shining on parade last week.

Billy Windsor, mascot of the 1st Battalion The Royal Welsh, was demoted to fusilier - equivalent of private soldier - last June after ruining a parade for the Queen's birthday at a military base in Cyprus, when he ran amok.

In his first public appearance since his demotion, Billy, seven, performed exceptionally and was reinstated by his commanding officer."


See you in the funny pages.

The "What The?!?" Award of The Week

I'm so thoroughly impressed.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

The Tomahawk - a bike a man can love

Check out the Tomahawk:

  • 4 wheels

  • 12 headlights

  • 500+ horsepower

  • top speed estimated at over 300 mph (though this has ne'er been tested, as no rider could hold on at that speed)

This is enough to make even one as squeamish as I ride the fire eagle on danger day (sorry, ze).

Monday, September 25, 2006

Canadians make me smile

For all their craziness, every once in a great while a Canadian comes along that just makes me smile - like Kristen Kreuk - and now this guy, whose video is embedded above.

He had the genius idea to strap a camera to an r/c plane and then attach the receiver to a pair of VR goggles. The result is an exact view of what the tiny little aircraft sees as it sky surfs. Plus he can control the camera with his head movement.

Kristen still makes me smile a lot more, but until she starts returning my phone calls - the tiny r/c plane & camera thing will just have to do.

See you in the funny pages...

Thursday, September 21, 2006

News worth noting...kinda

It's that time of the week again, and so let's turn our attention to other parts of the world - where much more interesting stuff than the Massachusetts primary is happening.

"Man bites panda but comes off worse for wear"
A drunken tourist hailing from Henan province was visiting the Beijing Zoo recently and after 4 pitchers of whatever passes for beer over there, decided to jump into a panda enclosure to give the little bugger a hug. The six year old panda, unamused and uninviting, proceeded to bite the man's leg. The action went like this: panda bites man's leg, man kicks panda, panda bites man's other leg, man bites panda, man has to go to hospital and explain why there's panda-fir stuck between his teeth. Wow.

"Pyjama patience wearing thin"

According to a recent poll in Shanghai one of the most irritating aspects of city life is having to suffer people wearing pyjamas in public. More than 16% of respondents claim that they or their family members wear their pyjamas out and about quite often - while 25% do it sometimes. Pyjama wearing was joined by aggressive pets and unhelpful neighbors on the list of irritants.

"Burglur takes taxi for robbery"
"A cabbie was asked to keep his meter running while his fare burgled a house in a Cardiff suburb, police said yesterday. The driver became suspicious when his customer emerged carrying a stereo system." 'nuff said

See you in the funny pages...

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Dear Amanda Congdon,

Dear Amanda,

Please stop sucking. You used to be cool, and I used to really like you. You used to be funny and stuff, and - like - make me laugh early in the morning at my oft-but-not-always-notoriously boring former job.

I was totally looking forward to your new vlog project - and then I saw your new vlog project. Please make it better. Because if you don't, I don't think we can be friends anymore. And if I didn't think you were my friend, I just don't think I could bear it (see...I do silly spoofs too).

Stop being "new" and "innovative" and just be you. You're a pretty cool chick, when you wanna be.


Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Lunchtime snack: Buffalo

"Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo." is a grammatically valid sentence.

The sentence is unpunctuated and uses three different readings of the word "buffalo". In order of their first use, these are:

  1. The city of Buffalo, New York.
  2. The animal "buffalo", that is, an American Bison,white buffalo, or African buffalo. It is used in the plural (equivalent to "buffaloes").
  3. The "buffalo", meaning to confuse, deceive, or intimidate

Marking each "buffalo" with its use as numbered above gives:

Buffalo1 buffalo2 Buffalo1 buffalo2 buffalo3 buffalo3 Buffalo1 buffalo2.
Don't believe me? Read the wikipedia entry here.

Psychological trauma causes penis amputation

Chinese physicians claim to have performed the first successful penis transplant. The 44-year old recipient of a brain-dead 22-year old's member was delighted to undergo the procedure, as his own unit had been severed in an accident.

Within just 10 days of the surgury - he was able to pee standing up. Sadly, due to his wide suffering "psychological" problems with the fact that her husband now had someone else's anatomy, the organ was amputated after just 14 days.

My ear hurts AND my nose hurts. I have two ow-ies.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Ripped From The Headlines

Gucci. Prada. Armani. Anorexia?

The Mayor of Milan announced this week that designers showcasing new threads at fashion shows in her city may face stringent regulations regarding the BMI index of models used in shows. This is in reaction to a similar practice instituted in Madrid that forced designers to turn away models whose BMI, which is based upon a height/weight comparison, fell below a certain level.

Maybe Mayor Moratti is championing some higher cause, but isn't it more likely that she tried to make it as a model, before becoming a politician? Yep. This is sure to end well. Everyone remembers that handsome cuban devil that the Yankees never drafted, right? Vamos Bien?

"Crafting guns into guitars"

Colombian craftsman Luis Alberto Paredes has a veritable niche market cornered. He takes guns, and makes them into guitars. With no short supply of firearms surrounding him in his South American home - Paredes is planning on holding a charity concert featuring several of his formerly life-threatening guitars this November. No pseudo-jibe here. You go, dude. You go and you rock on.

"Cult enters bunkers though doomsday uneventful"

The world was supposed to end on September 12th.

But it didn't.

But that didn't stop dozens of followers of a U.S. based religious sect from carrying out their plan to move into a network of underground bunkers they've built in the tiny Kenyan village of Mauche.

"Those who have been doubting us will in hours be ashamed..." the groups leader said, as he led his cohorts - dressed in gas masks, gloves and long overcoats - down into their new home.

The cultists plan to stay in their new digs for a year. But they'll be ok. The place is stocked with dried fermented flour. And after the year is up, by which time sinners are to have been wiped off the Earth, they can just head on back up and reap the rewards entitled to the faithful. (*note: the bunkers are already leaking water and are in danger of caving in - cultists claim this is just god's way of giving them water)

In case you were wondering how the world was supposed to end - we (as in U.S.) were supposed to go to nuclear war with North Korea. This failed to happen due to international time zone differences...and the fact that the season premiere of Dancing With the Stars was on that night. Kim Jong Il loves that shit.

One more thing - if it's a US based religious sect, what about the US based followers? "Members of our sect who are in the U.S. will not be affected as they are protected by Yahweh," says the group's head honcho. Whew. That was close.

See you in the funny pages...

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Stop. Think. Repeat.

YouTube &

Pick any of these things and you're presented with a stream of content the likes of which have never before been so easily accessible to so many people around the world. And these are just a precious few. You can, through just one or two of these things get hold of enough content to last you through just about any day. Heck, there are even podcasts and websites dedicated to indexing the 'best' of the internet for you (The Daily Nut, Popurls, etc...), so you can go to just one spot and get the 'best' from several others.

So what?

So, this: When is so much content being taken in, too much? We spend much of our time clicking and scrolling through website after website, with a podcast or music playing in the background, and the tv on across the room - that we're not doing the thing that all these content streams are asking us to do: think about what we're reading, hearing, and seeing.

For me, this is a big problem - and so I've made the difficult decision to trim down my podcast subscription list, and tweak the bookmark folder that houses links to the blogs I read daily. I've done this, not because I suddenly don't care about what those sources of content have to say, but because I want to spend more time analyzing- not just absorbing - what the sources remaining on my radar have to say. I want to reflect on, and not regurgitate, the content I open myself up to. *(note: this isn't to say that I won't still search for paparazzi photos of Jessica Biel, and videos of frat boys smacking each other with 2x4s - because we need our idiot time, too).

In this day and age of free content, related to just about any topic you're interested in, it's very tough to say 'no'. The onus falls upon us as consumers to determine what merits a source has, if any, and to devote ourselves to not just reading, watching, and listening - but to stopping, and thinking.

See you in the funny pages...

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Robotic Frisbees of Death!

Purse snatchers and guerilla warriors beware, we've got your number(s).

Claiming to have the answer to those hard-to-fit-a-tank-through-the-front-door situations, defense reports that the U.S. Air Force is developing a new tactically advantageous weapon: frisbees that shoot to kill.

"The 3-D maneuverability of the Frisbee-UAV [unmanned aerial vehicle] will provide revolutionary tactical access and lethality against hostiles hiding in upper story locations and/or defiladed behind obstacles," says Triton Systems, the Chelmsford, MA company tapped to develop the new weapon.

But this is nothing new. A bunch of Norwegian Trekkies were talking about this back in 2002, claiming to have modeled their "disc-shaped spyplane" after the design of Star Trek's USS Enterprise.

Heck, in the 90s even The Pentagon thought it was a good idea to strap little flying carp...err...saucers to soldiers' backs.

Dude. As long as I can get one of these for Ultimate Frisbee games - I'm golden.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Enter: The Darkroom

I'd like to tell you all about a new feature here on The Rebel Yell. Over in the right hand links column, under "More, More, More", you'll find a link that reads "The Darkroom".

This is The Rebel Yell's new photo page. I'll be posting here (on a monthly basis, to start things off) with random snapshots, doing my best to keep things organized by topic.

To get going - I've posted photos for August. Take a look, and let me know what you think. Less? More? Different stuff?

See you in the funny pages...

Sights Seen Around Town

Cambridge, MA - seek and ye shall find:


Thursday, September 07, 2006

I could make this up, but I didn't...

Some tasty morsels from recent headlines:

Latin American prison lifestyle takes an interesting twist with the finding of cell phones lodged in the intestines of several inmates. Reportedly, the inmates were using the devices to manage robberies, blackmail operations, and other illicit endeavors in the outside world. Dude. How terribly do you all need to vote on American Idol?

British motorists are ass-hats, according to this story from Reuter's. After his picture was taken by a traffic camera, the Briton in question returned to the camera's location...and blew it up. Delightfully, not only were the photos of him speeding unharmed - but the photos of him returning to the scene and making the camera go BOOM helped him on his way to a 4 month stint in the slammer. Sadly, the audio feed of him butchering "Singin' In The Rain" didn't make it through the attack. C'est la vie...

Lazy Cow in Hong Kong Wins Court Case Worth Millions. I don't know how much more I can really say here. The Cow in question refers to Monica Wong, banker & former salsa dancing enthusiast. After paying her instructors HK$120 million for unlimited private instruction - the relationship soured, and Ms. Wong suffered an emotional breakdown. Poor, sad, lazy, Cow.

This story makes me wish I still had a job to call out sick from (almost). In its infinite wisdom, the Zimbabwean health ministry has decided to allow n'angas (we know them as witch doctors) to write sick notes for workers. Dude. I saw the witch doctor. He told me what to do. He said...well...I couldn't make out much - but it sounded like a mix of clicking, and that little leprechaun that's always telling Ralph Wiggum to burn things.

Finally, in this late breaking shocker: Paris Hilton was arrested and charged with drunk driving early this morning in that glamor-hole city of angels way out west. What, you were expecting more than that? Ok. Hilton's attorney is cited as saying that Paris was affected more than usual by the one drink she had because it was "one drink on an empty stomach after a full day's work.". I don't know which is less believable - the idea that she had just one drink, or claiming that she worked a full day. My personal favorite line of the article follows: "Hilton is best known for her hit reality show "The Simple Life" and for a sex video that showed up on the Internet."

I'll leave you today with this:

See you in the funny pages...

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Drunken Brit Drives Carriage. Hilarity Ensues.

Over in that crazy "Europe" place, 21 year olds just can't seem to get their hijinks down right. Recently, a young Brit was charged with driving a horse and carriage while under the influence.

Why can't 20-somethings across the pond just do what normal 20-somethings do?
Start a bar fight by wearing your football colors to a no-football-colors pub.
Shout at people in public. "Hey Fats, how much for that scooter?"
Take a piss on the side of the road, and uncomfortably turn around in and effort to hide your...self...from the cars...errr...whizzing by.

The 21-year old Gloucester native claims that he was decidedly not under the influence while horse and buggying

His horse, Dipstick, was unavailable for comment.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Live from Toronto!

This post is coming to you live from the Canadian National Comic Book Expo.

I'm sitting in a sketch-duel between two of comics' hottest artists: Olivier Coipel and Terry Dodson.

As I blog, these two are furiously sketching original art for a raffle to be held at the end of the duel.

As far as the rest of the convention, so far so good. Many familiar faces, in terms of dealers - and many more in terms of creators.

Make sure to check back over the weekend as I'll blog live while waiting in various autograph and photo op lines (William Shatner, Morena Baccarin, that dude who plays Dr. Baltar on the new Battlestar Gallactica, to name a few - and a bunch of comic folk, too)

See you in the funny pages...

PS: please forgive any grammatical, or as an old colleague of mine would say 'syntactical' errors - BlackBerry QWERTYs do get to be a bit much ;)

Thursday, August 31, 2006

How BIG is big?

Last night I was asked to define what a blog was, and what the hell a blog has to with anything.

I sat back for a moment, reflected, and decided that the best way to approach this query was with broad strokes of general blah about my beloved blog(s).

A blog, I told myInquisitor, is a personal web site that provides updated headlines and news articles of other sites that are of interest to the user, also may include journal entries, commentaries and recommendations compiled by the user (dictionary dot com agrees with me ;)

"So what's the point?" he asked. To that I responded, "Ah, hell. Just to rant and rave I guess." But that's not really it, is it? It's more. It's about a growing number of conscientious, internet-savvy free-thinkers doing just that: thinking freely. It's about content provided for the masses, by the masses.

This is all redundant, so I'll stop.

It's the questions that his questions raised in my own mind that are more interesting. By asking me flat out "What's a blog?", my Inquisitor made me realize that the blogosphere, while large, looming, and ever-expanding (sort of like a cyber-big-bang) - isn't as big as I thought it was.

To me the word blog, as a noun, verb, whatever, is part of commonplace language. To others, it's not.

To some, blogs are these things that are creeping up and are full of crap, and that folks don't, or don't want to, understand. To me, they're an endless source of semi-reliable but all-infotaining content rivers, full of goodness. Like nutella. Yep, nutella.

See you in the funny pages...

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Anyone Feel Me?

Last Friday night I attended a round of mixed martial arts fights in Revere, MA ( Before the fights began, and during the breaks between a few rounds, several amateur rappers took to the ring and endeavored to entertain us.

So help me, never have I ever been so horrified at a live 'musical' act. Throughout high school and college I played in a few different bands, and I've seen terms of bands and beat makers. This past Friday was the first time that I could scarcely stand to stay seated, and not start throwing steel chairs into the ring a la WWE.

What is it about amateur rappers, and musicians in general, that make them think they have to scream as insanely as they can into any microphone in front of them to sound good? Why is it so many amateur rappers spend soooo much time talking about what they're going to do, or about to do, or are in the process of doing - but so little time telling you what they've done?

Personally, I think it's because they, like many of their professional counterparts, are full of shit.

Don't misunderstand. I like rap quite a bit. It's just that my idea of quality hip-hop and rap doesn't usually extend to the likes of what I saw last Friday night.

I remember, way back when, buying my first NWA album. Mix in some Wu-Tang. A little Tribe. Hell, even a little bit of Jay-Z and Nas. Maybe some Biggie. Maybe even som 'pac. But please. Pretty please. Hold the Luda, and the Em, and hand over the 2 quarters making up your 50 cents to me...I'm 'bout to feed that meter.


Monday, August 28, 2006

A Case of The Mondays

There are generally three constants to my (week)days:

1) An early morning blog crawl.

This usually consists of various smut ridden, celebrity related, paparazzi-themed stuff that does nothing but provide eye candy to wake me up. Also, I throw in pinch ze frank, a dash of Rocketboom, and a big giant glob of my favorite podcast out there: Merriam-Webster's "Word of The Day", for good measure. Oh, and Amanda UnBoomed isn't bad, either.

2) Dunkin Donuts.

Consisting of either a hot coffee w/cream and sugar - or an iced coffee, with the same treatment. This is a hugely important part of my day - to the point where last weekend in Montreal, I plugged "Dunkin Donuts" into Google Maps Mobile on my BlackBerry - and got me some coffee, dammit.

3) Kempo.

Just about every day that isn't a weekend one - and sometimes on those, too - I can be found at Craig's Kempo Karate Academy in Watertown, MA. Mind, body, and spirit.

On this oh-so-drab Monday AM, I though I'd take a moment and share some of my day with you all, my Lovelies. For no other reason than it seemed like a good idea while I had my coffee during this morning's jaunt through the blogosphere.

See you in the funny pages...

Friday, August 25, 2006

Weekend Plans

Whew. Now that that bit of philosophomophising is out of my system, it's time to get back to bringing all you lovelies the usual Rebel Yell flare.

Have you ever had a steak, grilled by USB? If not, go out and try it - better you first, than me.

More travel is on the horizon. At some point within the next few weeks, I'll be in NYC for no reason other than I feel like going. Maybe I'll drag the ThinkPad along, and make use of one of the new WiFi hotspots in The Park.

Next weekend I'll be in fabulous Toronto - that's in Canada - for the Canadian National Comic Book Expo. Yes, I'm a fanboy and I'm damn proud.

If you don't already watch The Show w/Ze Frank...please do yourself a favor and check out the episode from August 23rd...especially if you've ever been on a plane.

Oh, right. Last night I attended the Black Eyed Peas concert at The Tweeter Center. This show was supposed to feature The Pussycat Dolls as the opening act - sadly, they were unable to attend and I was forced to sit through 15 agonizing minutes of some horrific thing calling itself Danity Kane. Being that I was in the second row from the stage, when the lead "singer" (quotation marks here denote loose usage of the term) barked into her mic "Do y'all want us to sing you some more songs?" and I shouted "No. Please leave." --- ya, I'm pretty sure she heard me.

Ah, well. This is that asshole from the 2nd row, signing off.

See you in the funny pages...

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Waxing Conscientious

During my daily blog crawl, I usually come across stories and random links that I'll save to include in a links post later on. Today though, I've come across something I'd like very much to take the time to address.

"Israeli military chief of staff Lt Gen Dan Halutz has for the first time publicly admitted to failings in the conflict with Hezbollah."

This is the headline from BBC News' latest article on the continuing conflict between Israel and Hezbollah (full story here).

What sort of 'failings' are we talking about here? Are we talking about the civilians (on both sides) that have lost their homes, their livelihood, or worse?

Are we talking about the beautiful cities of Beirut and Haifa that have been beaten back 20 years, and buried under the rubble of intolerance?

Or are we talking about the fact that the instant a nation makes the decision to revert to war - a grievous 'failing' has occurred?

With the death toll already high (over 1,000 Lebanese dead, and over 100 Israelis) what's really been accomplished?

In the short term, sure, the looming threat of a militant militia has been quelled. The so-called 'party of god' has felt the wrath of the Israeli military. But what about the long term? This conflict will soon be just another page, or worse - a footnote, in the annals of this long conflict between Israel and its neighbors - brushed over by a reader's saccade.

It's important at times like these, for me at least, to ensure that my memory lasts longer than just the last sweeps week on the news. Before this latest conflict, countless others have all been part and parcel of the larger one - and that larger conflict is the one to lament.

In the long term, the onus to commit to peace in good faith (no crossing of fingers) falls on Israel as much as it does on the aggressors acting against it.

As for the 'failings' mentioned by the Israeli military chief of staff - I'm pretty sure he's ok. Lt Gen Halutz sold off his stock portfolio before fighting broke out.

Anybody see borders on this map?

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Feeling groovy?

So I finally signed up for IMDb Pro today. Don't ask why. Ask why not(?). So far, I love it. If anyone ever needs to know how high Hilary Duff is on the STARmeter, let me know (though I may relentlessly mock you for a while before giving you the info you're looking for).

In other news. This isn't a "What The?!?" Award, and it's not a links post - but I really want to 'share' this video with you:

In other news: look for The Rebel Yell's new vlog (tentatively called "Rebel Yell Live" (thoughts?) to premiere over and around the first weekend of September, when I'll be 'casting from the Canadian National Comic Book Expo, in Toronto.

Oh, and if anyone's seen Snakes On A Plane - please let me know how it was. Being that I was in Canada last weekend, I missed its bow.

See you in the funny pages...

Monday, August 21, 2006

The "What The?!?" Award of The Week (belated)

A few months ago, I was rocked senseless by this band Metal Skool at the Typhoon Saloon in Pacific Beach. Apparently I'm not their only fan. Check out the only American "Idol" worth her salt (that'd be Kelly Clarkson, btw) chugging Chivas & singing G&R...and just try to ignore the little punk from Yellowcard.

See you in the funny pages...

Saturday, August 19, 2006

The post-midnight, midnight post

Some dialogue from the tail end of this evening's festivities:

Sarv: I know kung-fu.
Amanda: I know tae-kwon-do.
Sarv: TKD is predictable. It's all kicks.
Amanda: Have you seen my legs? I'll kick you from across the street.

See you in the funny pages...

Friday, August 18, 2006

Bonjour, Salut, et Bon Vendredi!

Back again from vieux Montreal. Already I've spoken french and been responded to in english & spoken english and had nothing but le langue d'amour spouted back at me in return.

One fantastic find was the "easy" button that reads "simple" -- and speaks...understandably...french.

The real question is, would this be half as interesting to me if I wasn't the aformentioned east-coast elitist I claim to be?

In other news. The Zach Morris phone is back...and big...and red.

See you in the funny pages...

Blog! Live!

So here it is. This is the very first 'moblog' entry on The Rebel Yell. This post comes to you live from fabulous Montreal, canadia...more specifically, a small town called Dollard-des-Ormeaux.

Already the festivities have begun. Look for video of said 'excitement' to be posted early next week.

Oh. And stick around for the weekend and read more about various exploits north of the border.

See you in the funny pages...

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Ignorance Excused By Pop Savvy ?

Would it shock you to learn that over half of Americans can name Homer Simpson's son, but less than one quarter can tell you the title of a poem by Homer? (hint - he's a old Greek dude)

Is it strange to hear that the same majority can tell you what planet Superman is from, but can't identify Mercury as the closest planet to the sun? (is the planet named after that stuff in the thermometer?)

A recent survey, reported on here by Reuter's says this is all...sadly and pathetically...the case
...and don't get me started on the stats involving over-glorified-karaoke-crap-fest American Idol.

Sure. I can answer most of the pop culture questions the survey inquired about - and I don't feel the least bit embarrassed by that fact. Actually, I'm quite proud of my pop savvy - but certainly that's no excuse for the sheer ignorance of the world around them that respondents to this survey have displayed.

When three quarters of Americans can correctly ID The 3 Stooges...but less than half can tell you what the 3 branches of our own government are - is it any wonder that we find ourselves wondering "What the $#@* ?" so much of the time?

Maybe this is me being an East Coast/New England snob.
Maybe I should stop being such a Masshole.
Maybe...but I don't think so.

See you in the funny pages...

Zod? Wha?

I recently read somewhere that Jude Law is in talks to play General Zod in the next superman movie. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this. Sure, Law is a good actor. Sure, Zod is a cool villain. But (as I've said on this page before) who the heck does Bryan Singer think he is?

In the spirit of constructive criticism, I've addressed the following letter to Mr. Bryan Singer:

Dude. Singer. Duuuude. Richard Donner already MADE that movie. In fact, he already made the one you just (re-)released this summer. Please stop trying to honor/imitate Donner and come up with your own idea. We know you can do it. You're a pretty clever guy. Usual Suspects and XMen kicked @$$. Stop screwing around with Superman & do what's right. Oh, and please say the piano slid across the floor because the boat tipped ;)

-- Sincerely,

See. No harsh words here.
Funny pages and all that...

The Midnight Snack

Ya ya it's a bit after midnight. Anyway.

In late breaking news, experts have said that the Mammoth is poised for a comeback in the near future. Yes, I mean the big hairy animal of yesteryear. Not biting?

"The woolly mammoth could be brought back from extinction using sperm extracted from animals encased in ice."

but how, you ask?

"The idea would be to inject mammoth sperm, assuming it could be retrieved, into the eggs of female elephants."

as far as're on your own there.

Snacktime's over, and I'm a bit off my oddy knocky...and so now it's time to retire.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Do not pass fact, don't even cross it.

"To Google, or not to Google?"

That is the question posed my many a legal conjurer.

According to to 'google' is to search for information about a specific person through the Google search engine.

Last month, 'google' (note the lowercase 'g') won a spot in Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary.

Other examples abound...

Oi, but here's the rub. In an uncharacteristic move Google has lashed out at the media, respectfully asking them to refrain from use of their trademarked name as a verb. Here's a thought...why?

Was Xerox bothered when the name of its product became synonymous with photocopying?

Did kleenex shed a tear when the term 'tissue' went out of vogue?

Did Christmas care when we officially re-named it?

Ok. Yes. Google needs to protect itself and its intellectual property. But this has encouraged copyright-happy Apple to follow suit, leading my mind to wander to places I'd nay visited before.

Can Creative hit us with a copyright for the word zen? What about Heck, I know there are others - and I'm just drawing me a blank right now. Can y'all think of any?

Oh, and by the way: Googdesk, anyone?

[note* insert witty title here before publishing]

Good monday, good tidings, and all around good times to you and yours on this fine August 14.

It strikes me that this would be a good time to address the thing that I'm suuuure you're all curious about: my travel plans.

Will I still be going on a roadtrip across the country? ...yes. But in an effort to avoid the cruel midwestern sun - I love AC (note: AC is NOT a city in Jersey) - I'll be waiting until the fall & the calm repose it

Will I still be coming back from said roadtrip? my grandmother would say - it's depend.

There. Now that that's out in the open.

This weekend, The Rebel Yell will be blogging live (via BlackBerry) from glamorous Montreal, Canada. Follow various scandalous exploits here...and maybe on Cops Canada & Canada's Most Wanted.

See you in the funny pages...

Friday, August 11, 2006

The 'What The?!?' Award of The Week

I really wanted to have something borderline witty to say here, but...

...just the photo does the trick, methinks.

You know the deal - funny pages and all that...

A Minor Musing...

ed: I heart blogging.
lo: I told you you would.
lo: you just didn't listen.
lo: that's quite common w/ you.

ed: i dont heart listening

I [link] I like you, but you like this whole room...

Chinese Barfights!

"Chinese can unleash pent-up anger at a bar that lets customers attack staff, smash glasses and generally create trouble."

Chuck Norris bridges The Danube !!

"A newbridge in Hungary could be named after the action film actor Chuck Norris unless the trend turns in an internet vote organised by ministry for the economy."

Smurfs Arrested !!!

"TwoSmurfs were arrested by police in New Zealand for stealing a trampoline."

No. You read all of those correctly.

And don't get me started on

Spoon-wielding Mexican women or

the "kind" voices of female telephone operators.

Today's links have been brought to you by

See you in the funny pages...

If you're reading this...

If you're reading this, then I've successfully posted my very first moblog entry via blackberry.


"See you in the funny pages..."

Breaking news from the BBC...and Gizmodo

"Just under one-fourth of DVD sales by 2010 will be high definition discs"

At least according to one study ( This isn't like cd's, or regular old fashioned digital video discs - this is 1080p for 1080p's sake.

Sure, I'd love to replace my DVD library with the new discs - but which one to choose? Blu-Ray? I do like the color blu. But what about HD DVD? Isn't there room for a little love there, too?

As far as I'm concerned, Sony and Toshiba (among others) - you should be ashamed of yourselves. When two media juggernauts like yourselves go to war over ownership of the new standard in home video formatting - it's US that lose out. Because you two don't feel like getting along - you're forcing studios and retailers into deals that, in the long term, may end up keeping your discs out of the hands of people who don't want to fork up $30/movie (not to mention the cost of the player - one for each format - and the 1080p-capable television, without which this is all useless).

The biggest question still looms. Which one of you two is the Betamax of a new generation.

See you in the funny pages...

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Pre-Midnight, Midnight Snack

I'm not sure that I'm qualified to enjoy this song anymore, being that I spend most of my day in a Gi (essentially pajamas) hitting things (...yea), and teaching others to hit things - but it still made me laugh.

In any event, enjoy!

Temptation thy name is...'s BlackBerry ok?

Since getting my mitts on this little sucker, I've not been able to put it down.

When I'm driving, there it is. Staring back at me with it's sultry LED. that I pay it heed while doing 80 on I-95.

Have I been outbid on that lamp on eBay?
What new music came out on iTunes today?
Did Yanni write back about the carpool plans for next weekend's trip?
Will GCalSync ever work properly?

In an effort to get a bit more Zen (no I don't mean the new theme) - I'll leave you with this BlackBerry haiku:

BlackBerry don't you see
You're what's troubling me now
Gosh it hurts so good.

Where you (are)?

Hi Folks. This is just a quick hit to respectfully ask y'all to add yourselves to The Rebel Yell's new map on Frappr.

You can get to it by clicking the nifty little "Where you at?" link in the right hand menu - or just click here, to open the map in a new window/tab.

Oh, right. Once you're there, the "Add Yourself" option is up top and to the right. Feel free to add some photos to the slideshow (just please keep it somewhere under NC-17...we've got kiddies about).


Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Family Guy Unplugged

Just a litle sumthin sumthin I came across during this morning's blog-crawl.


Tuesday, August 08, 2006

The 'New' Rocketboom: Hit or miss?

I'm not really one for calling out what I think may be 'failings' of a sort, out there in the world wide blog/vlog world...ok...yes I am, and with good reason it would seem...

A while back I started avidly watching Rocketboom (for those of you unfamiliar with it, check out the wiki entry here).

For a while, it was good. Then for a while, it was great. Much of this was due to original host Amanda Congdon's throughly delectable demeanor. Ms. Congdon has an uncanny talent for mixing her natural aptitudes in satire and sarcasm with just enough skill as a 'newscaster' to let slip by unnoticed the fact that you've just watched a 3 minute video about omnidirectional forklifts.

But for whatever reason, all that has changed.

In a 'classic' he-said, she-said mud-slinging-via-blog match, Congdon was/says she was unceremoniously dismissed from Rocketboom. What gives?

The rub lies here: sure, new host Joanne Colan is good times. Sure she's just as easy on the eyes. But what the hell is wrong with Rocketboom lately? Ok - yes, I do think it's interesting that Iraqi taxi drivers are vlogging. I do think that famed olympic sport of speedwalking is funny to watch Colan engage in, especially somewhere in Central Park. But c'mon. Where are the cheesy production values that I'd come to adore? Where are the shots of Joanne Colan spinning around in that chair, in front of that world map?

Don't get me wrong, I'm still giving Rocketboom a chance becauseI'm all for trying new things, but Rocketboom, if y'all don't pick up the pace real soon - you'll be off my iTunes Podcasts list quicker than Amish folk on a BlackBerry.

See you in the funny pages...