Friday, October 20, 2006

More Wacky Commercials

If anyone knows where this was actually on the air - please let me know. Click the big blank space below to start the video.

Direct link to vid

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

News (Totally) Worth Noting

Numbers Games

#118: Ununoctium

The periodic table is set to receive its latest addition (#118)
with the "discovery" of ununoctium. Not only is this substance
brand spanking new - but it's also the heaviest substance ever.

Scientists claim that as the atoms only lived for a few milliseconds,
they'll likely never know much about it in great detail - though they
do say it's likely the element hasn't existed since the universe was
in its infancy.

#300 Million

The U.s. Census Bureau has predicted that at 7:34 yesterday morning
a hispanic male was born somewhere in Los Angeles County, bringing the
population of these United States to 300 million.

This growth, referred to as "cancerous" by certain environmental blogs,
must be taken with a grain of salt - a really big grain of salt.

"The figure might actually be something like 260 million Americans,
and 40 million guests, some of whom are uninvited," said, a nationalist blog.

So what about the average Joe? Andrew Oxton, 27, of San Francisco says
"The more the merrier...doesn't bother me either way." Mike, from Massachusettsts
and who declined to have his last name mentioned, offered this dissenting opinion:
"Yes, I do think this country is too overcrowded. There are so many
people who get in your way when you go to Dunkin' Donuts in the morning."

See you in the funny pages...

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

News (Almost) Worth Noting

Crime-infested city goes pink

The crime-infested Indian city of Aurangabad is
being painted pink in the hope that an image makeover
will lift the sagging morale of residents who are
fed up with the decline in law and order.

This action comes after previous makeover plans,
including daisies being handed out on street corners
and smily-face stickers being attached to all traffic violations,
failed to lift the city's mood.

Four killed in pothole fight

Four people died and three were injured after an argument
over who should repair a pothole in a rural road in Mexico
erupted in to gunfire. Two of the wounded were listed in
serious condition at a local hospital, one with part of his jaw blown off.

Police said pistols, rifles and assault rifles were used
in the gun battle, which erupted between two families in the
mountain region of Pantelho.

Both families operate bus or truck services, and the
heavy vehicles wear down local roads. Road repairs, which are
often left to locals, are a sensitive issue.

In other news, a slap-fight erupted between soccer moms in Belmont, MA
over a similar issue.

Both are home, and listed as unforgivably stupid.

The "What The?!?" Award of the Week

Scarlett Johansson: Diva?

During my blog crawl this morning, I came across this bit of information:

"Scarlett Sings Tom Waits" is being recorded now and through the winter, with a possible release next spring from Rhino Records' recently reactivated Atco label. The eventual release date will be coordinated with Johansson's movie schedule.

Fear not, though. Unlike some other recent pop tarts, Scarlett who turns 22 next month can actually sing; she is no Paris Hilton. Also, her choice of material is a tad more sophisticated. She's making a whole album of songs by Tom Waits, one of the premier singer-songwriters in the business."

Ooooh. Please tell me that y'all are as devastatingly excited as I am.

See you in the funny pages...

Monday, October 16, 2006

Today's Feature: Water Balloons

Let's start with a water balloon explosion, in very slow motion. (Yes - it's playing)

And now let's move on to practical application: (embedded video may take a bit to load - here's a direct link)

Thursday, October 12, 2006

The Sexiest Vowels In "Rock"

Since my sabbatical (unemployment) got underway, I've spent quite a lot of time recommitting myself to those to-do's on a list that had become more like never-get-around-to's while I was working full time. Among these are work on a new cd of original music, a 'finished' screenplay, and fleshing out at least 12 issues of script for a comic I'm working on (anyone know an artist looking to break in?).

Today, let's focus on something related to musical endeavors.

I've been listening to more music lately. Specifically, more of the type of music that up until sabbatical began - I didn't take the time to listen to. Having my background training in classical music makes listening to most of what's on the air these days...painful. Ours is a time where auto-tune has replaced in-tune & where rolling all around a note before crashing down onto it with a constipated look on your face is viewed as "soulful" (thanks American Idol, for propagating this theory).

It's for these reasons that I want to take time for a Rebel Yell shout out to Amy Lee, of the group Evanescence. I wasn't thrilled with their previous albums, and I doubt I'll be amazed by the new one - but I am thoroughly impressed with Ms. Lee.

Her voice is rich and deep, and you can imagine it chanting "Canzonetta Sul'aria" just as easily as it calls out "Call Me When You're Sober". Ms. Lee has almost perfected the art of subtle rolls around key notes, and barely misses a cue to crescendo (no, that's not the same as "louder"). She's also demonstrated that she knows the difference between "Aaaa" and "Aahhh" - something most vocalists have either never learned, or have long since forgotten.

So here's to you, Amy Lee. You've got the sexiest damn vowels in "rock".

See you in the funny pages...

PS - I tried calling Amy the last time I was sober, now I'm not allowed within 200 feet of her.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Breakfast-time Snack...from the 80s

From way back when in yesteryear, it's the She-Ra & He-Man Sexual Harassment PSA. Enjoy.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Proof that American commercials are lame

If you didn't already know it, American commercials tend to lack shall I put this one...sense of humor that's commonplace in so many foreign counterparts. In defense of my position on this, I submit exhibits #1 & #2.

Exhibit #1:

Canadians think men would care about breast cancer if they...

Exhibit #2:

Travelocity would either double its business - or go bankrupt - if this commercial aired stateside.

See you in the funny pages...

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

The Big Dig Explained

For those readers not in the Greater Boston area, let me preface what you're about to watch with this: The "Big Dig" aka the Biggest clusterfuck in the history of urban planning and construction has, since breaking ground in 1989, endeavored to alleviate the insane amount of traffic in downtown Boston by, among other things, burying I-93 under the city's streets.

Also included in the Big Shit-Show were the re-routing of highway on and off ramps, the construction of new tunnels to get TO the highway (which are never actually open, because there's always work being done), and an all around steady increase in the collective frustration with whatever nutjob figured that since the mafia had fallen on hard times - now would be a good time to help them back on to their feet with some lucrative construction contracts.

Christy Mihos, the "independent" candidate for governor in Massachusetts had this to say:

See you in the funny pages...

*The Rebel Yell does not endorse Christy Mihos for Governor, nor do we endorse proposed legislation that would prohibit the placing of squirrels down one's pants for the purposes of gambling. We do however support cock-fighting, nutella, and slap-happy jockeying.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Goat Promoted

This one is so ridiculous, that I've pasted the original text of the "news story" below. Enjoy. I know I did.

"A disgraced British army goat has been reinstated to his rank of lance-corporal after shining on parade last week.

Billy Windsor, mascot of the 1st Battalion The Royal Welsh, was demoted to fusilier - equivalent of private soldier - last June after ruining a parade for the Queen's birthday at a military base in Cyprus, when he ran amok.

In his first public appearance since his demotion, Billy, seven, performed exceptionally and was reinstated by his commanding officer."


See you in the funny pages.

The "What The?!?" Award of The Week

I'm so thoroughly impressed.