Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.

Verily - a reason to give most sincere thanks:

My hairs they are a-tingling.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Quality of Life Index, November 26

Pleated pants. (-3)

Three day work weeks. (+2)

Turkey-Day looming. (even)

Lack of traffic during holiday week. (+3)

Kevin Smith can't make a good movie that doesn't star Jay & Silent Bob. (n/a)

Listening to podcasts while 'working'. (+1)

Still loving the unibody MacBook Pro. (+1)

Happy Thanksgiving to y'all. (even)

This Week's Total: (+4)
Last Week's Total: (+3)

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Giving Early Thanks (A 'The Rock' Tribute)

I give thanks for the following:

The best Peoples' Elbow ever:

The first ever Rock Bottom:

The best of The Peoples' Champ:

Monday, November 24, 2008

I Smell A McScam

"McDonald's is known for its cheap meat -- but after a bad trip to the burger joint, one guy's wife allegedly became cheap meat.

McD's just got served by a guy who allegedly left his cell phone -- which contained nude photos of his wife -- at the Arkansas restaurant, only to find the nude pics posted online.

Phillip Sherman was assured by employees they'd keep the phone safe, yet the photos -- along with Sherman's phone number and address -- somehow found their way onto the Internet.

The couple claims they had to move to a new house to get away from his wife's new stalkers. Sherman wants 3 mil for their troubles." (link)

So this begs the query - did he leave the phone there on purpose, in order to sue McD's? Remember a few years back when people started pouring hot coffee on their laps, in an effort to capitalize on feigned stupidity?

Mmm. Personal bailout plans. I'm lovin' it.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Friday Music Special, November 21

"Guns Don't Kill People, Rappers Do" - Goldie Lookin' Chain
The illest, slickest, most rickity-rickity-rollin' track EVER. Ok, not really. Still - good stuff, here.

"Do It Like A Truck" - Geo DaSilva
Like a truck. Yes. He does it just like a truck. Right up through the crash and burn part.

"Same Jeans" - The View
An anti-laundry anthem for the ages. Well played, Sirs.

"I'm Outta Time" - Oasis
Which one is dressed up like the Amish guy, Liam or Noel? Wait. Hold on. They're the same person? Like Charlize Theron and Ashley Judd, right?

"Sometime Around Midnight" - The Airborne Toxic Event
Absotively my favorite track on this week's list.

"Chacaron" - Andy's Val Gourmet
Oldie. Goodie Classic.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

YouTube Nostalgia

This used to bring me much joy:

Yep. It still does.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Quality of Life Index, November 19

"Quantum of Solace" (+1)

The Maldives. Not 'sinking', but kinda 'sunk'. (-5)

Maldivian plans to buy a new homeland. (+3)

List of other island nations that could disappear within the next 100 years: Tuvalu, Kiribati, the Marshall Islands, and Fiji. Better go visit soon. (-2)

Final Crisis, one issue at a time. (-3)

Final Crisis, in the inevitable 'collected edition'. (even)

Secret Invasion, either way. (+4)

New uni-body MacBook Pro. (+5)

This Week's Total: (+3)
Last Week's Total: (+8)

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Prank Call, Dutch Florist Style

The set up: Scott Mills (Radio1 daytime DJ) calls a Dutch Florist and asks her to write a very special message on the accompanying card. The result: the second funniest prank call in history:

Monday, November 17, 2008

Bond. Sorta, Bond.

This past weekend, the latest James Bond film drew the largest opening in Bond Box Office history, taking in over $70 million in ticket sales. (link)

This is good, right? This means people are still going to the movies, and still willing to give generously to the cause of 'cinema'. Here's the thing: "Quantum of Solace" is as much a Bond Movie as it is a Kevin Smith one.

Throughout all twenty-something films, James Bond has morphed to fit the audience. Connery exuded cool, Moore was sophisticated, Dalton was dark and mysterious, and Brosnan was probably the most refined (Lazenby was...umm...give me a minute...). Despite the cast changes, the creative directions, and the stamps put upon the character by each actor to don the role - the heart of Bond remained. And now we come to Craig. Daniel Craig, again, is a Bond that reflects his time.

After three ultra-successful Jason Bourne outings, Ian Fleming's 007 had to keep up with a new stylized, serialized, and young secret agent - complete with fight choreography befitting the best non-wire-fu martial arts romp. And keep up he did. In Casino Royale, Craig proved he had the chops to scrap, romance, and still look polished afterward. Quantum of Solace seems to forget that it's important to mix all three. A damaged and flawed Bond is all well and good, as long as it's still Bond. Clearly, Bond has been shaken, but I am not stirred.

As a setup for a third installment, Quantum serves its purpose - and in truth does it with some veritable high points - but let's hope that Craig's next outing as 007 gives us a bit less "Bourne Again Bond", and a bit more of the slick cool with which we are used to seeing 007 get his spy on.

Also - the gunshot scene goes at the beginning, jerks.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Friday Music Special, November 14

"Hounds of Love" - Futureheads
Like catchy Top-40 cal - if catchy Top-40 cal was having a seizure, and then running naked through the Common. Good stuff.

"BreakEven" - The Script
Listening to this track feels easy. Not Sunday Morning easy - not that there's anything wrong with a little Commodores/Lionel Richie-style easy - but this is more like Thursday afternoon easy. Also, none of what I've just typed makes any sense. Give a listen.

"Cash In My Pocket" - Wiley (feat. Daniel Merriweather)
Total ear candy. If you can get through this track without the urge to groove, you're a more controlled human than I. Or you're a robot.

"Thinking About You" - Radiohead
There are days when I want to listen to nothing BUT Radiohead. This is not one of those days, but it's one of those four minutes and thirty four seconds blocks. Enjoy.

"Lost" - Coldplay
I hate that I like this song. I hate that I like this song. I hate that I like this song.

Clean & Well-Lighted:
"Let Go" - Frou Frou
Probably the second best song on the Garden State soundtrack. Probably the only Frou Frou song I'll ever listen to.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

The Stupidest Exercise Machine Ever

Droogs & Devotchkas, I give you the stupidest exercise machine ever: The Mobile Treadmill...a treadmill designed specially to move/walk down the street while you're treading.

Hold on. It gets better. The company that makes this massive piece of shit is looking for investors. Please. Give generously. Please.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Quality of Life Index, November 12

Four day weekends. (+4)

The end of four day weekends. (-2)

New James Bond movie coming out this week. (+3)

Fear that new James Bond movie will try way too hard to be like old Jason Bourne movie. (even)

Front stairs in parking garage at work closed, back stairs too far to walk to. People walk down car ramp. People will get run over. (even)

The Big Bang Theory. (+5)

Phoenix Lander has, ironically, 'died'. Unlike other two rovers, this one will not miraculously keep working. (-2)

This Week's Total: (+8)
Last Week's Total: (+9)

Monday, November 10, 2008

Batman sues Christopher Nolan over success of The Dark Knight

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"...the "Batman" in question is actually a little-known a city in Turkey. And they're pissed.

"You may never have heard of Batman, the city. It's in southeast Turkey, and the home to the country's oldest oil refinery (built in 1955). Despite that, though, they're not having the greatest of times - Crime is up, as are suicides amongst women. Also, like everywhere else in the world, they're suffering from economic problems... which is where Christopher Nolan comes in:

"The royalty of the name ‘Batman’ belongs to us … There is only one Batman in the world. The American producers used the name of our city without informing us,” [Mayor of Batman city, Hüseyin] Kalkan told the Doğan news agency... Mayor Kalkan, speaking to the Hürriyet Daily News and the Economic Review, said last year foreign media picked up on Batman and the city’s increasing suicide rates among women. He said a columnist asked why Batman’s mayor did not sue the movie Batman for royalties while struggling with economic problems. “We found this criticism right and started to look for legal possibilities of a case like that,” he said."

The term "bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha" comes to mind.

Friday, November 07, 2008

Friday Music Special, November 7

"Impatience" (acoustic version) - We Are Scientists
Besides being a great tune (it's got the whole 'should be on a soundtrack' thing down pretty pitch perfect), the video linked to features Edith, who is back.

"Dirty Blue Jeans" - Jeremy Warmsley
It's like a song sung in morse code. And a video to match.

"Say Aha" - Santogold
I can't help but think that if Shirley Bassey had been born in the eighties, this is the kind of music she'd be making right now. Though inevitably, this song will end up trying to sell me a Volkswagon/get me to shop at Target. Either way, kudos.

"Greatest Day" - Take That
Haven't heard much of these guys for a bit, but they seem to be back on the musical wagon. Good stuff. Even if it sounds like a CW commercial. Could also do well as one of those kick-ass HBO montages of old. Good stuff.

"Into My Arms" - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
Sometimes a video tries to be far to 'artsy'. Sometimes it's not got enough of the 'artsy'. And sometimes the level of 'artsy' is just right. The category to which this song's video shall fall is for better heads than mine to determine. I just like the tune. Though I would love to hear a Blind Boys of Alabama cover of it, too.

"P.A.T.T." - Sharam
Best in context.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

I Wonder If Palin Knows This Is A Planet...

"This dramatic image of Jupiter is touted as the sharpest picture of the entire gas giant ever taken from the ground.The picture was made using a prototype instrument known as MAD (Multi-conjugate Adaptive optics Demonstrator) mounted on one of the European Southern Observatory's 8-meter diameter Very Large Telescope units in Chile. Working at infrared wavelengths the MAD instrument removes atmospheric blurring, the bane of earthbound telescopes, by using multiple guide stars and deformable mirrors to sense and correct for the distortions produced by turbulence in Earth's atmosphere." (link)

As James Earl once said: "Impressive. Mmmost impressive."

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Thoughts On: Smoking

On this most venerable day of public service, when members of society do their civic duty, I thought it reasonable to reflect upon duties done by citizens past - in the interest of their brethren.

Submitted for the approval of The Midnight Society: