Wednesday, October 18, 2006

News (Totally) Worth Noting

Numbers Games

#118: Ununoctium

The periodic table is set to receive its latest addition (#118)
with the "discovery" of ununoctium. Not only is this substance
brand spanking new - but it's also the heaviest substance ever.

Scientists claim that as the atoms only lived for a few milliseconds,
they'll likely never know much about it in great detail - though they
do say it's likely the element hasn't existed since the universe was
in its infancy.

#300 Million

The U.s. Census Bureau has predicted that at 7:34 yesterday morning
a hispanic male was born somewhere in Los Angeles County, bringing the
population of these United States to 300 million.

This growth, referred to as "cancerous" by certain environmental blogs,
must be taken with a grain of salt - a really big grain of salt.

"The figure might actually be something like 260 million Americans,
and 40 million guests, some of whom are uninvited," said, a nationalist blog.

So what about the average Joe? Andrew Oxton, 27, of San Francisco says
"The more the merrier...doesn't bother me either way." Mike, from Massachusettsts
and who declined to have his last name mentioned, offered this dissenting opinion:
"Yes, I do think this country is too overcrowded. There are so many
people who get in your way when you go to Dunkin' Donuts in the morning."

See you in the funny pages...

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