Low Crime

Friday Music Special, July 30, 2010

2010-07-30T09:58:00.002-04:00

One of the most repetitive songs I've ever heard. Really. But leave it on loop in the background, and it kinda grows on you.

I'll still always love their first record the most, but The Gaslight Anthem still does it pretty well.

I asked a friend for a suggestion on the third track for this week's FMS. I got the following: "Ok, this song, because it is awesome." ...I may declare shenanigans.

Friday Music Special, July 23, 2010

2010-07-23T11:39:00.000-04:00

A goody from some time back - I recall hearing this on a Ministry of Sound record from the early 2k's. And I recall liking it.

The video's more than half the fun.

Ok. Honestly, I watched part of this one on mute -- but Charlize Theron wielding a katana, and taking out a score of ninjas? Yar! ...oh, and there's some music playing too...

Quality of Life Index, July 21, 2010

2010-07-21T12:59:00.001-04:00

The timelessness of The Bard. (+5)

Bardolatry and its discontents. (a phrase I've totally co-opted from a lecture series I heard last Spring) (-2)

Shakespeare, still up by 2. (even)

Music of Trevor Morris, latest in a series of soundtracks I've been listening to as I read. (+2)

Will I finally see Inception in IMAX tomorrow? (even)

Crutches, still... (-1)

Dude. Alison Haislip did a scotch tasting. For really real. (+2)

Same scotch tasting had the gall to include Dewar's White Label in the flight. For Shame. #BlargFail (-1)

I may actually get an iPad 'cause of this. Well...that, and I found what looks like a semi-easy way to convert Kindle content to iBooks. Shazam. (+1)

--------------------------------
This week's total: (+6)
Last week's total: (0)

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Corner...

2010-07-20T13:47:00.001-04:00

Overheard yesterday @ Café Pamplona, post-seminar:

"I don't know if movies like American Pie
are, like, mimicking American culture or,
like, making it."

Now. Far be it from me to wax overly critical of this inquiry --- but I will say this: the sad truth is the answer is neither. It is, in fact, both. Sha-whaaa? A double answer? A non-answer?

Consider this, one can fill in just about any piece of art in the blank: "______ makes modernity, and modernity makes ______." My own esteemed Pedagogue uses this governing dictum to navigate through a course on Shakespeare and Modern Culture, and I purport that such a symbiosis between art and culture is the imperative, and not the exception. According to another Cultural Savant who espouses the essential nature of this cyclical relationship, endeavoring to understand culture by understanding a particular work “is part of the social contract with appreciating anything artful”. Your making that art a part of your life “is the most transcendent thing any kind of art can accomplish". While in his book, the Author happens to be talking about Saved By The Bell (a mildly less compelling example of artfulness than, say, Hamlet), the concept, as Lacan wrote, engenders the thing. Modern culture’s contract with _____ is that it will endeavor to understand itself, through _____. This is the proof and pudding all in one.

So now back to you - Sidewalk Philosopher, Cinephile of the Late-90s Persuasion, Tea Drinker - did American Pie mimic us, or make us? The low-culture (a term I mostly despise for its divisive tendencies) gems of Pie-Copulation, Acronyms-for-maternal-Copulation (I'm starting to see a trend...), and yes - Stifler's Mom outcries all aside (trend verified, btw), if American Pie made us, we made it first. And before we made it, it made us too.

See the problem with the question you ask?

What's to glean here - what's absolutely germane - is that the question is vastly more important than the answer. Answers diminish potentiality, and that, unless thoughtfully considered can diminish the perpetuity of the very art (a term, perhaps, loosely applied to American Pie) you consider. But so long as its got you thinking, asking, wondering, and "considering" - its done the job it set out to do. And that's the point.

Let me put it to you like this, isn't anything cinematic, like, ten-times more interesting before you know how it ends?

Friday Music Special, July 16, 2010

2010-07-16T09:55:00.000-04:00

I know it was Kobe commercial during the NBA Finals --- but heck, just such a good cover.

Just. Just. I mean...just. I can't even. Just watch it. To the end, you hear?

A textbook worthy case-study on the construction of music for the masses.

One Should Probably Disregard

2010-07-15T00:38:00.001-04:00

In sort-of a frak all kind of mood.

I find myself weary - weary, maybe wary, of that particular slice of the thousand natural shocks that occupies my head.

Viddy that. I am entrenched. Incensed. Does my disarray, my discontent, make me malprop of la vie? To what?

I say, without remorse or contempt --- really and truly --- frak all that. Frak all, for sake of all --- 'tis oft one's place to play the prop, but ne'er shall it be that prop serves place and soul, bare.

Strange yet true.

And as for you, friend poured and friend standing most faithful guard --- thanks most kindly for your sentry. For your gentry, thanks.

Mes pensees ses presses vers toi ---

Quality of Life Index, July 12, 2010

2010-07-14T10:21:00.002-04:00

Back in the saddle. So to speak. (-3)

The colossal ass-hat that owns the dog down the street, who leaves the dog down the street outside all day to bark and make all other manner of disturbance. (-2)

Succumbing to the relentless pop-assault of Stieg what's his face. (even)

The excitement being felt about this week's Friday Music Special --- I'm gigitty. (+1)

Shakespeare Firs Folio case finally resolved. Jerk-off gets his. (+2)

Season One version of theme song to "The Wire". Jus' sayin' (+2)

All other iterations of theme song to "The Wire". 'nuff said. (even)

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This week's total: (0)
Last week's total: (moot)

If Painkillers Be The Fruit Of Love...

2010-07-13T02:00:00.002-04:00

I find myself in a similar situation to last year's shit-show. 2009 was trouble, maybe double --- but persevere, did I. It's now times past, and time's passed, and yet here we are again.

The second of what's (hopefully/likely/maybe) a pair of repairs to a broken bone has left me somewhat immobile once again, though this time for not so long as last. Despite being less severe, this latest foray into "recovery" has led to some interesting experiences, begotten at behest of a friend named Vic, proper name somewhat longer and immune to Blogger spell check.

To say I'll get hooked is by far an overreach. But to say Vic don't sneak on in, in times of much distress - well that's just silly. Under Vic's thoughtful direction did I viddy some dreams last night, not fit for printing summations of here - save to say that Vic, well seems to bring out what lays hidden.

Poignantly, I'll say this about my new and temporary friend: shit makes you think of what you didn't say, forget that you shouldn't say it, and coaxes you to actions and words normally left to more private reflection.

So thanks, Vic.

More strange than true.

Friday Music Special, July 10, 2010 (Saturday Edition)

2010-07-10T20:03:00.002-04:00

This is apropos.

This is an oldie, but a goodie.

And this is just freaky, 'cause since when does Scissor Sisters sound like Sir Elton? Ba-whaa?!

Yin V. Yang

2010-07-08T13:11:00.000-04:00

Conflicted, I am.

Shoulder #1: I love to read, and so when I see others doing it - the warm and fuzzies, they get a tingling. I occasionally ride the bus to campus, and see folks toting hardbacks, and trades, and airport softcovers galore. My curiosity is generally peaked when I see what people are reading: what are they thinking? Who recommended this? What do they think about such and such, and this and that, and that? Sometimes, they're reading something I've read too - this sends curiosity into overdrive. Do they see the same scene unfold in their head? Do they see the same monster at the end of the book? There's a special sanctity to the shared experience of reading a quality piece of lit, and then connecting with another who has read that same set of words.

Shoulder #2: Frak you, you pretentious ass-hat. Take the dust jacket off your stupid Malcolm Gladwell coffee coaster and stop showing me how cooooooool and in-the-know you are. Read your book ALONE while you're in bed with your spreadsheets and whatever's on Leno tonight, and stop putting it up on frakking display for everyone else to see. Take your trade-sized, movie poster edition, copy of "Eclipse", and read it huddled over while wearing fingerless gloves like any respectable emo kid would - you stupid raging hipster. And you - you with your "Girl Who Played With Something-Or-Other" jerk-off...you...you're too easy. Just go back to the American Apparel fitting room you crawled out of.

I am conflicted.

Conan: The Musical!?!?!

2010-07-06T09:55:00.003-04:00

Great. Caesar's. Ghost.

Friday Music Special, July 02, 2010

2010-07-02T10:48:00.000-04:00

Had me hooked from the first bloody lick - equal parts White Stripes and Black Crowes.

Despite feelings of actual physical pain due to the first vocalist/tollbox's haircut - quite the toe-tapper, have we here.

And a happy 4th of July to all you lovers out there.

Friday Music Special, February 26, 2010

2010-02-26T13:15:00.000-05:00

A little groove for a little give.
__________________________________________

1. Because they're awesome.
b. Because their Biography episode was the last thing I watched, last night.
__________________________________________

Don't know much about this band, but of the few tracks I've heard, this one stuck.
__________________________________________

Friday Music Special, February 19, 2010

2010-02-19T10:50:00.000-05:00

Dance it out, suckas.

___________________________________________

I continue to absolutely adore this band. And you should too. If you don't, then The Machine will get angry. And you wouldn't like The Machine when it's angry.

___________________________________________

The sophomore slump may have dimmed these guys a bit - but overall, there new offering ("Contra") contains much of the same toe-tapping awesomeness and groove that their first major record did. Play on, boys. Play on.

Pedagogues & Broomsticks, Part 2

2010-02-09T14:57:00.000-05:00

In this next installment of Pedagogues & Broomsticks (aka - the technological travails of Professors I've encountered along The Way), I'd like to detail the current scene. I sit, in class, watching no fewer than 5 educators trying to figure out how to get presentations from 3 different laptops, onto 2 very large screens. The 2 screens simulcast the same a/v feed, the 5 people will only present one at a time, and 2 pairs are sharing 1 laptop per pair. 3 laptops use VGA out. 1 uses DVI. 1 looks like it has an S-Video out. Convoluted? Yes. Painful to watch? Even more so. Number of icons on one professors left-side docked Windows XP taskbar? The total of survivors from the Titanic might actually be a lower number. Me? I'm a big fan of the path of least resistance, and struggle to understand how something as simple as wiring a classroom for ease-of-use for the non-tech savvy Prof's can be made so disruptively arduous.

Call me crazy, but in today's higher education setting, it's seemingly imperative that educators (and students) maintain more than a passing awareness of how a/v stuffs operate. The old guard of overhead projectors with reusable transparencies is gone the way of the Sugar Daddy (the candy, not the old guy) - as in, you can still find it somewhere, but only in the most specialized of spots. So here's my plea to all of you "Technology is not my thing" types: reach down, grab your bootstraps, and pull. Hard.

And if your answer is no, then stop wasting everyone's time and make way.

Sergio! (Don Draper Does No Wrong, Pt.1)

2010-02-07T16:58:00.000-05:00

Friday Music Special, February 5, 2010

2010-02-05T17:24:00.001-05:00

"The Ol' Beggar's Bush" - Flogging Molly

At their usual pace, their usual charm, and their unendingly awesome style. Yes, I like The Pogues more, and understand why I should - but after all this time, Flogging Molly still makes me dinky stinky, and that's the key to a long-lasting relationship, right?
______________________________________________________

"Kinda Kinky" - Ursula 1000

I owe my discovery of this total crap-track (toe-tap worthy as it is) to the website of a dive-bar in Mission Hill. For the record, if you don't serve whisky, consider rebranding yourself as a cafe.
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"Someone Like You" - Safetysuit

I don't really understand why these guys aren't more popular. They're certainly head-and-shoulders above much of the swimming-with-owls-and-dolphins-city nonsense that's out there right now, and seem fairly musically coherent. Kudos?

Pedagogues & Broomsticks

2010-02-04T16:42:00.000-05:00

In a recent discussion with some cohorts far more technologically knowledgeable than myself, I mentioned some past technical difficulties with various Pedagogues who, for posterity's sake, I won't name. This got me thinking - I'm terribly tired of going to class and hearing my fellow humanistic brethren talk about how "technology is not their strong suit". Listen, bub - it ain't mine either, but I do - get it?

Let me paint a picture: first day of the first class of the last semester of classes before graduation. Professor X (no relation to the bald, psychic, Picard look-alike) frantically tries to get a laptop's video feed to pump through the magic jack on the wall and onto the big, beautiful screen. Simple, right? Not as simple as you'd hope. Now I'm no programmer. Not by ANY stretch. But listen - if you're going to use presentation materials, as just about EVERY faculty member does, nowadays - get your frakkin' act together. There is almost nothing that irritates me more than sitting in class, watching professors fumble through something that could (and SHOULD) be easily remedied by a training class, showing these brainiacs how to get their slides up on the screen. Stop wasting my time because you don't know how to do something, and clearly haven't bothered to learn.

Off to class now, we'll see how thing go today...

Milestones Passed & Coming Attractions

2010-01-07T12:46:00.001-05:00

Along with the new year, comes the passing of a fairly significant milestone, pour moi. Some time ago, I had (what I think) is a fairly clever idea for a feature-length film. Now, finally, completed, the script stands proud at ~116 pages of (hopefully) narrative goodness. Though I'm almost sad to have finished it, looking at the completed work makes me feel the warm and fuzzies all the way over. Good, that.

Next up: Friday Music Special, the Redux

Coming Soon: A treatise on the absolute necessity of the Quality of Life Index

A New, New Year

2010-01-02T17:21:00.002-05:00

Things resolved:

1. I am a writer. Of the things of which I'm certain, this is the most essential. Proven because despite a lack of validation, of justification - or publication - I keep doing it.

ii. It might not get better, but it certainly gets easier. A paraphrasing of some words of wisdom, pedagogically received.

c. When it doubt, take it out. True of so many editorial, and other more illicit, quandaries.

Ever mine, ever thine, ever ours...

-

PS: Dear "Lost" Writers, if after all is said and done, it's all in the Fat Guy's head, imma bring the mother*&#@ing ruckus.

AOTS Goodness

2009-07-13T11:39:00.001-04:00

For their 1,000'th episode, the AOTS Powers-That-Be finally let Kevin get his greasy on. And it was good.

Video Game - E3 2009 - Attack of the Show

But then they pulled this. I call "Shenanigans".

Video Games - E3 2009 - Attack of the Show

See you in the funny papers...

Friday Music (Video) Special, July 10, 2009

2009-07-10T11:03:00.002-04:00

Lost - The Break/Beat Remix

A ridiculously cool mix of the genius score.

The Armenian Crip-Walk

Admittedly not as funny if you don't know Armo music...but really, c'mon...it's still good.

Hercules:The Legendary Journeys (Bathroom Style)

Simply put, the best version of this song. Ever.

See you in the funny papers...

Quality of Life Index, July 1

2009-07-01T11:39:00.002-04:00

It's coming. It's happening real soon. (+3)

Second monitor on desk makes watching podcasts at desk that much easier. (+2)

Stupid weather. (-2)

The sad level of articulation I've reached while discussing the weather, after over a month of grey, grey, rain, grey. (-1)

Glastonbury. Wow. (+3)

I will miss you, Michael. (even)

A strange penchant for craptastic dance music has overcome me, of late. The Friday Music Special is sure to be affected by all that cal this week. Sorry in advance. (-1)

Eeeehhhh...maybe an MJ tribute special will be in order. Thoughts? (even)

I can't wait for Snoop Dogg's iPhone app to become available. iFizzle. (+2)

.........................................
This Week's Total: (+6)
Last Week's Total: (-7)

Quality of Life Index, June 24

2009-06-24T09:36:00.002-04:00

The weather continues to impress beyond belief. (-3)

Tomorrow is supposed to be what? 80 & Sunny? (even)

The fact that I've just negated the possibility of that happening, by saying it's going to happen. (-1)

Dear person who stole my debit card number and charged a bunch of shit. I'm going to find you, and I will kill you. Liam Neeson style. You're an asshat. Sincerely, Me. (-5)

How about we all start a petition to just pave Central Square over, and turn it into an "expressway" of sorts, between the river and Harvard Square? Anybody? Anyone with me? (even)

No, really, Central Square has nothing going for it. Sorry, Middle East. Sorry, Wendy's. Sorry, half-naked guy that hangs out in front of Wendy's. (-2)

Re-watching Fringe, Season 1. (+3)

I've said it before, and I'll say it again now: Mmmm...Netflix... (+2)

.........................................
This Week's Total: (-7)
Last Week's Total: (+1)

Leather Clad Lunatics!

2009-06-22T17:14:00.001-04:00

Friday Music Special, June 19

2009-06-19T10:45:00.003-04:00

"Don't Trust Me" - 3Oh!3
Not the real video. Not even really a song. Catchy as all hell. Will be sick to death of it by the time I'm done typing this.

"Death of Autotune" - Jay-Z

Easily the slickest track he's come out with in a long time. If you thought him headlining Glastonbury was even the slightest bit off, you are wrong.

"One More Chance" - Bloc Party

I'll go ahead and call this the "It's Raining/It's Friday/I'm Working" anthem of the week.

"Audacity of Huge" - Simian Mobile Disco

I'm not sure what I'd do if I were out at a bar, and this song came on. But I'm fairly certain that I'd like it.

"Raindrops" - Basement Jaxx

Every few years I listen to one more song by these guys, and I'm always pleased. Though the thought of trying to power through an entire album of theirs makes me nervous.

...................................................

Speaking of Power:

"More Than A Feeling" - Scrubs Air Band

Yo. If they tour. I tour. You understand me?

Friday Music Special, June 12

2009-06-12T10:45:00.003-04:00

"Vanished" - Crystal Castles

Though suffering from a ridiculously lame band name, they manage to make music that does not suck.

"Blue Skies" - Irving Berlin

Possibly the best recording of this song, ever. More than anything, this tune's presence on the FMS is a protest against the ridiculous antics of Mother Nature, over the past several days.

"Here's Looking At You Kid" - The Gaslight Anthem

I know, I know. Another Gaslight Anthem tune. Really, they're that good.

"Tripoli" - Pinback

A recommendation. Never heard of these guys before. Not sure I'll ever again, either. But this tune actually isn't so bad. Still - filler, not killer.

"Ode To Zach Braff" - SuperSecretProject

Outstanding.

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"Sprach Zarathustra" - Richard Strauss

Yes. It's the theme from 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Quality of Life Index, June 10

2009-06-10T10:11:00.004-04:00

The weather. Get your act together, Mother Nature. (-3)

The way an ankle full of screws & steel feels in this weather. (-2)

The strange lack of pollen in the air right now. (+1)

The disconcerting feeling that having mentioned that, I will be assaulted by the aforementioned Mother, the next time I go outside. (even)

Safari 4, the iPhone 3G S, and all the other Apple goodness announced this week. (+2)

Preliminary thoughts on "The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay", aka - the book I've always wanted to and should have read a long time ago. (+4)

People that say "latter", but write "ladder". (-4)

Thanks for negating the Apple goodness, Jerks. (even)

Netflix. Yes, I'm very late to the party. But daaaaaaamn. Good on you, Netflix. Fine Job. (+3)

.........................................
This Week's Total: (+1)
Last Week's Total: (-5)

Old School C.O'B.

2009-06-08T11:26:00.002-04:00

PS - Keep up the good work, you crazy, lanky, bastard.

Friday Music Special, June 5

2009-06-05T10:45:00.002-04:00

"15 to 20" - The Phenomenal Handclap Band
Ok. It really annoyed the heck out of me at first, too - but listen the whole way through. If you still hate it, no hard feelings. Promise.

"Red At Night" - The Gaslight Anthem
A gem of theirs from the previous album. This is what I've listened to every afternoon, before leaving work, everyday this week.

"Superman Returns" - John Ottman
Not certain I've ever put something like this up here, before. But Ottman really hit this out of the park, riding John Williams' coattails. This has been a comfort through much distress.

"When The Sun Goes Down" - Arctic Monkeys
These guys continue to impress beyond what you can expect from most bands. Good things.

"Waking Up In Vegas" - Katy Perry
What? I don't hate it, and neither should you.

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What Was Missing Last Week:
"Whoomp There It Is" - Tag Team
I will laugh if you know the words. I will sing them along with you. But I will laugh.

Quality of Life Index, June 3

2009-06-03T10:53:00.003-04:00

Jerks. You know who you are. (-4)

People that stare. Who also should probably go under the "Jerks" category. (-3)

Rodney Harrison is retiring. Favre, take note. (even)

Final Draft 8. Say what you will, I dig the more "OS X'y" feel. And the scene navigator is the coolest thing since sliced bread. Sliced bread having been invented the previous winter. (+3)

Grades in. Not bad. Not bad at all. Mischief, managed. (even)

I'm not entirely certain what it is about the clear blue sky that makes me all kinds of happy, but it do. It really do. (+2)

But then again, pollen. (-1)

People that ask the same question over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over in hopes that the answer will change. I'll tell you what Newman told Redford: "It ain't gonna happen." Again, this should probably be filed under the first point. (-2)

Two Simpsons quotes, and one Harry Potter reference in this week's QoL Index. (even)

.........................................
This Week's Total: (-5)
Last Week's Total: (even)

Dear Dan Brown, et al.

2009-06-01T10:40:00.003-04:00

What the hell is the matter with you people?

First off, Dan Brown. You wrote a good book. Did you even read the script that was used to make the movie? I mean, Da Vinci code was one thing - but for Angels & Demons I actually expected more. Really? No bald guy in a wheelchair at CERN? No Vittoria's Dad? Are you that busy counting your dollars that you couldn't write the damn script yourself?

Second, Ron Howard. You should just be embarrassed. Not in the way that Sean Penn should be embarrassed by everything he's done in the last ten years (both on and off the screen), but close. You had the cast, you had the locations, and you know you had an audience. But buddy boy, really. THAT much of what I'll call "exploratory conversation" was just insulting. And fire your editor.

Finally, Tom Hanks. I expect more of you, Sir. You are held in a rare, high regard, and you have disappointed. In Da Vinci Code, the only gripe I had with you was the haircut (a sentiment echoed by many many many others), but this time around even you could not save the slowly sinking ship that is Robert Langdon's latest cinematic foray. If and when Professor Langdon returns to the screen, for the love of pete: don't leave everything up to Opie.

See you in the funny papers.

Friday Music Special, May 29

2009-05-29T10:41:00.003-04:00

Hindsight is always 20/20. For this reason I give you a selection of the best bad songs from the 90s:

"What Is Love?" - Haddaway
Start the head-tilt move. You damn well know the one I mean.

"The Sign" - Ace of Bass
Picture every drunken night during which you and your droogies have belted this song out loud, while sloshing your drink all over yourself in an effort to both pump your fist and chug at the same time.

"Another Night" - Real McCoy
If you've ever actually done what I mentioned in the last blurb, you should just go to a karaoke bar and admit your folly. Jerk.

"Be My Lover" - La Bouche
You're still here? No, really, go and order your Bud Light (it's after 10 somewhere), and start singing "Sweet Caroline" or something. Jerk.

"I Like To Move It" - Reel 2 Reel
I actually like this song, and refuse to make any allusions to a lack of redeemable quality, therein. Who's the jerk, now?

...........................................
The Clincher:
"Dazzy Duks" - Duice
It's a live version, the actual video is blocked for "inappropriate content". Go figure.

Quality of Life Index, May 27

2009-05-27T10:32:00.002-04:00

Memorial Day Weekend BBQs. (+3)

Returning to work after Memorial Day Weekend BBQs. (-2)

The return of rain. (-2)

At least the rain waited until AFTER the aforementioned BBQs. Thanks, rain. (even)

About to take my last Claritin D. (-3)

Stella's BBQ Chicken Pizza. (+2)

Heaven help me - Netflix is amazing. (+2)

A rendezvous, a weight - lifted. (even)

.........................................
This Week's Total: (even)
Last Week's Total: (+7)

Friday Music Special, May 22

2009-05-22T12:20:00.002-04:00

"The Show" - Lenka
The only two things that stand right the heck out about this track are that it should either be accompanied by a Meredith Grey voice-over, or be on the soundtrack to Diablo Cody's next movie.

"Four Kicks" - Kings of Leon
These guys continue to impress me.

"The '59 Sound" (acoustic) - The Gaslight Anthem
My favorite version of my second favorite song off their second, but best, record.

"21 Guns" - Green Day
I instinctively resent all Green Day since Dookie - but this track has actually made me pay close attention to their latest effort. Not bad, I say.

"I Do Not Hook Up" - Kelly Clarkson
If you have a problem with it, you are wrong.

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Shout-Out
"Somebody That I Used To Know" - Elliott Smith
There is no deeper meaning, here. This is just a fantastic song that iTunes' smart-as-a-whip "party shuffle" mode popped on just before I put "Push It" by Salt n' Pepa up here again. Word.

Mantra

2009-05-21T13:19:00.003-04:00

Abre los ojos.

Quality of Life Index, May 20

2009-05-20T10:52:00.002-04:00

Dear 24, if you want to know how to end a season, see every finale Lost has ever done. Then fire whatever ass-hat came up with the crappity-crap-tastic "cliffhanger" that happened on Monday night. You suck. Love, Bauer_Lvr2003 (-4)

I have finally succumbed to the Netflix free trial offer. Heaven help me. (even)

New Green Day starting to grow on me. Dookie, it ain't - but not Nimrod, neither. (+1)

Reading books in the driveway with the living room end-table at my right, cradling my scotchy-scotch-scotch with simple, effortless, grace. Hooray for Tuesday Book Club. (+2)

Um. When does Mad Men come back? (even)

D-Day is reading this. (+5)

Renewal, rejuvination, a breath of fresh air. Take from that what you will. (+3)

.........................................
This Week's Total: (+7)
Last Week's Total: (-3)

Another Allergic Haiku

2009-05-18T09:44:00.001-04:00

You're back again, then?
Coffee tastes like Claritin.
New Green Day is lame.

Friday Music Special, May 15

2009-05-15T11:10:00.002-04:00

"Cotopaxi" - The Mars Volta
I've never heard any other song by this band that I like - but this one, I do like. So it's found it's way into a Friday Music Special. Not much more to it than that.

"Nights of The Week" - Apes and Androids
Aside from the fact that they have a ridiculously baller name, I know nothing about this band. Nor have I bothered to Google/Wiki them. Nor do I plan to.

"And So I Watch You From Afar" - Set Guitars To Kill
Again with the baller name, again with the non-knowing thing. A trend is developing in the FMS this week. This track feels like the ultimate cross between a Nintendo soundtrack, and a late-night Wendy's run.

"This Sweet Love" - James Yuill
Like a remixed, slightly poppier Eliot Smith, enough so that I might actually listen to a whole album. Also, this song should probably be on the soundtrack to the next movie Zach Braff is in.

"Sorrow's Army" - Graham Coxon
Easily my favorite track of the week. If you don't like this, you are wrong.

..............................................
Zach Braff?
"Superman" - Lazlo Bane
Because you saw it coming.

PS - I guess we can call this "My One Hit Wonders FMS"?

Quality of Life Index, May 13

2009-05-13T13:07:00.002-04:00

Sidewalk bicyclers still not getting the message. I will jam my cane through your spokes and flip your stupid, broken ankle ramming two-wheeled death machine over. Get on the road, or stay the frak away from the guy with the limp and the walking stick. (-4)

Semester ending. (even)

Final papers due. (-1)

Star Trek. (see previous post)

Lost Season 5 finale is tonight. This fills me with earnestness. It's important to look earnest, right? (+2)

Lost Season 5 finale is tonight. This makes me sad. Cold, I feel. (-1)

All your camel are belong to us. (+1)

.........................................
This Week's Total: (-3)
Last Week's Total: (+3)

Dear J.J. & Co.

2009-05-11T10:32:00.002-04:00

Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.
Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.
Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.
Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.
Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.

Friday Music Special, May 8

2009-05-08T09:36:00.004-04:00

"Stone Cold Sober" - Paloma Faith
Starts out slow. Give it a minute - 'cause it breaks into a fairly slick mixture of Basement Jaxx & Esthero, covered in a thin layer of Marva Whitney. And that is NO bad thing.

"Back In The Game" - Jamie T
The heaviest British accent I've heard from a singer for some time. I'm fairly certain that I went to high school with this Cat, and that he's just faking that Cockney nonsense. Even still, if Jack Johnson had grown up surfing The Scottish instead of The North Shore - here's what he'd sound like.

"I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor" - Arctic Monkeys
Easily my favorite track of this week, and the best track to break the Friday morning funk. Crank it and tip your head to the person sitting next to you, even if the song doesn't apply to them.

"Stereo Flow" - Dada, Harris & Obernik
The making of a Friday Music Special is a very subtle art. You can't blow it out of the water. No shark-jumping allowed, got that chief? As such is the case, this is an excellent follow up to the previous tune. Bug out in your cube. You know you wanna.

"We Cry" - The Script (Radio1 Live Lounge)
I'm a massive fan of the Radio1 Live Lounge sessions, and this most recent one is no exception to the general goodness that comes out of that little drop-tile ceilinged room.

..........................
WWCBD:
"Shimmy Shimmy Ya" - O.D.B.
What?

Quality of Life Index, May 6

2009-05-06T11:03:00.003-04:00

It's Wednesday. For us fanboys, that's a sabbath of sorts. New comics, über-dorkery on the rise. (+2)

Have I mentioned that Star Trek is coming out this week? And that J.J. Abrams directed it? And that Michael Giacchino did the music? Really? I can't believe I haven't mentioned this. Well. Now that's taken care of. (+2)

Because the news needed something else to talk about, and the vast conspiracy of dunces that controls the world needed a new way to force the plebs into some form of panic: swine flu. For evidence of the conspiracy, see the video below. (even)

The cloud of lameness that has fallen over campus today, as discussed with other Aero-heads. (-2)

Lost Season 5. Only three episodes left before the very looong hiatus. Ugh. (-3)

The Tudors Season 3, on now. Dexter Season 4, coming soon. (+2)

WWCBD. It's a mantra. (+2)

.........................................
This Week's Total: (+3)
Last Week's Total: (+10)

Because It's Happening Soon

2009-05-05T11:08:00.001-04:00

And because after last night's Celtics game...I needed the pick-me-up.

An Allergic Haiku

2009-05-04T11:10:00.003-04:00

Oh Claritin D
Know what you have done today
Pollen go away

Friday Music Special, May 1

2009-05-01T10:21:00.003-04:00

This week's song choices have been brought to you by a fellow music aficionado, with blurbage by yours truly. Enjoy!

"Keep Your Eyes Ahead" - The Helio Sequence
This feels like either a montage scene from, or the end credits to, every John Cusack movie made prior to 1999. And as that's the case, this feels pretty frakkin' good.

"Mirando" - Ratatat
If my life were a Nintendo movie (or even a Sega Genesis one) I'd want this song to be the soundtrack to every level where I was walking around collecting stars, or coins, or princesses or whatever. Plus, the video is fairly slick. Have a look-see.

"Kim and Jessie" - M83
A little less pre-1999 John Cusack, and a little more Zach Braff circa Garden State - still, good stuff. Also, this song would make a really crappy cell phone ring. Sorry, folks.

"Atlas" - Battles
Easily the best track off of the album, plus the video makes you feel like either breaking out your old Erector Set and going to town, or maybe just throwing on a Fraggle Rock DVD and seeing what happens when you try and go all Wizard of Oz/Dark Side of The Moon with this song.

"It's A Crime I Never Told You About The Diamonds In Your Eyes" - The Black Heart Processional
First of all, this is probably the longest song title to ever appear on a Friday Music Special. This really doesn't signify much, and certainly doesn't garner any special credit aside from the previous sentence, and this one explaining it. Good track, though.

................................
Flip-Top:
"JFK Rap" - Brad Neely
If I'd had this to refer to during my high school history class - things might have gone much, much differently.

A Fortnight's Delights

2009-04-30T10:50:00.004-04:00

So it's a pretty good couple of weeks for movies. I haven't been to, or seen, as many as I'd have liked over the past several months, but if the next several weeks' releases are any indication, I'll soon have spandex and sci-fi and retconning galore to assuage me.

First up, naturally, is Wolverine Origins. The trailers have looked solid, thus far. And no. No I did not download the workprint that appeared all over the bit-torrent world some weeks back. The old me might have downloaded it, and ruined the cinema experience. But that was the old me. This new me is looking forward to a gigantic popcorn, a tub of cola, and an ass-grooved seat to park it in for at least two solid hours while I watch Dr. Cox's bane do his thing. Damn. That's good.

Next up is Star Trek. Originally, I was less than thrilled that this would be a prequel. Don't get me wrong. Classic Trek is fantastic. But I grew up with TNG airing new episodes every week, not Kirk and crew. Then there was the fact that Matt Damon turned down the lead as ol' James T. That hurt a bit, but Chris Pine seems about right, judging just from the TV spots I've seen. Pitch-perfect Zachary Quinto, spot-on Zoe Saldana, and all the rest (including you, Harold) all look their parts, and all have chops on some level. Plus there's the J.J. Abrams factor. Talk about the midas touch. All this, plus the fact that Michael Giacchino wrote the score makes me feel all tingly inside. I'm tempted to say "beam me up", but naaahhhh...

Now as for the following weeks, both Terminator and Angels & Demons are set to bow. The two of these are, right now, balancing each other out in terms of generating any warm and fuzzies. Here's hoping that Terminator (the movie) is better than Terminator (the tv show), and that Ron Howard had the good sense to cut Robert Langdon's hair. That euro-mullet isnt' the "demon", is it?

See you in the funny papers...

Quality of Life Index, April 29

2009-04-29T09:36:00.003-04:00

The carelessness of others. (even)

When it directly affects you. (-3)

The forgotten box of chocolate Teddy Grahams I found in my desk, around 4:15 yesterday afternoon. (+4)

Semester wrapping up over the next few weeks. (+2)

The amount of writing to get done before the semester wraps up. (-1)

Classic Goldfinger (play "Forgiveness"). (+3)

Nicer weather. (+2)

Allergies. (-2)

The weather, overall. (even)

Lost's 100th episode is tonight. Can this really contribute to the quality of my life, even if the episode hasn't aired yet? Yes. Yes it can. (+5)

.........................................
This Week's Total: (+10)
Last Week's Total: (+6)

Quality of Life Index, April 22

2009-04-22T11:32:00.002-04:00

People that ride their bikes on the sidewalk. (-3)

I swear. If one of you ass-hats either bumps into my one good leg, my one bad leg, my cane, or runs over my Nikes one more time, I will jam my exact replica Dr. Gregory House walking stick through your spokes and make you flip the frak over, you stupid stupid silly little people. (even)

Odds that I'll get bumped by one of the aforementioned ass-hats, later today. (even)

Department-wide lunch at work, free food. (+2)

Department-wide lunch at work, having to sit through it. (-1)

Department-wide lunch at work, overall. (+1)

Lost Season 5's continued ante-upping - including, but not limited to, the best episode title since "?": "Some Like It Hoth". Frakkin' fantastico. (+4)

Two uses of 'frak' in this post, thus far. (+2)

I heart Scrubs. There. I said it. (even)

Frak. (+1)

.........................................
This Week's Total: (+6)
Last Week's Total: (-1)

Ninja (Tries To) Rob Store. Really.

2009-04-21T18:07:00.002-04:00

BOSTON -- A man dressed as a ninja with a sword tried robbing a convenience store and dry cleaners in Weymouth.

A man wearing a ski mask and carrying a sword walked into the Tedeschi convenience store at 1039 Main St. around 8 a.m. Monday, the Patriot Ledger reported.

A clerk told police the man was dressed like a ninja and was carrying a "ninja sword."

The man then left the store and went to nearby Galaxy Cleaners and demanded money, the paper reported.

The man left the cleaners without any money when the clerk could not open the cash register.

Police said they are looking for a man in his late 20s.(link)

Here's a police sketch of the Perp:

Friday Music Special, April 17

2009-04-17T10:26:00.002-04:00

"Sound of Guns" - The Architects
If the dude from Rancid had a better voice, this is what he'd probably want to sound like. As it is, this tune is possibly the best self-aggrandizing thing I've heard in quite some time. Yay-yer.

"Know Your Enemy" - Green Day
New, from the guys that brought us Dookie...and then a bunch of other cal...something that doesn't suck harder than anything Metallica did post-Black Album.

"Sweet Child o' Mine" - Alex Cornish
Wow. I mean, wow. I thought I had heard every possible iteration of this song, and then this cover comes along and, well, just listen. Video linked to is a live version - if anyone can find the studio one, send it along.

"My Doorbell" - The White Stripes
Not a new song. Not too old a song, either. But a damn good one. And Jack White's hat is baller. Baller as all heck.

"Spanish Joint" - D'Angelo
What? I can't dig on something other than UK pop-topia for a minute? Damn.

..........................................
Tradition:
"Don't Sweat The Technique" - B Eric & Rakim
I'd like you to give a listen, nod your head in slow motion, and let out a long 'Yeeeeaaaahhhhhhhhh'.

Quality of Life Index, April 15

2009-04-15T10:38:00.002-04:00

Turning tides. (+1)

Hiroshima Mon Amour. Really. You should go and see this movie right now. Especially since the WHOLE thing is on YouTube in nine 10-minute chunks. (+3)

People that still think the telephone and fax machine are better methods of office-communication than email. (-4)

The latest episode of 24. Jack. Enough with the crying. And you. For shame, Tony. (-2)

Michael Jackson's auction has been called off. (even)

Kutner killed himself?! Huh? (-2)

This guy: (+3)

.........................................
This Week's Total: (-1)
Last Week's Total: (+2)

Redemption?

2009-04-14T09:56:00.002-04:00

It's about damn time.

Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony Profile from Lindsay Lohan

Friday Music Special, April 10

2009-04-10T09:59:00.002-04:00

"Tonight's Today" - Jack Penata
In the same way that driving at night with the windows down and sunroof open feels just about right when it's (supposed to be) springtime, so to does this slick beat and infectious riff. Plus the chorus is a tongue-twister and half. Or at least, I think it is.

"I'm Not Alone" - Calvin Harris
Ok, Calvin Harris. You and I need to talk. In one fell swoop, you've negated my ability to walk down the hall without hearing this song in the background, and also managed to re-affirm my unhealthy love of bedazzled glasses. Um. Thanks?

"Rubber Lover" - Marmaduke Duke
Not really a throwaway tune, but not entirely a keeper either. Like the opening credits of one of those 80's movies made during the late 90's.

"Embers" - Just Jack
Conversely, here we have a 2000's tune with a decidedly 80's video. I'm beginning to sense a thread running through the music special this week, though I'm entirely uncertain of what that thread is.

"Daniel" - Bat For Lashes
Easily my favorite track on this week's list. Something about it makes me feel fuzzy. And I like fuzzy.

............................................
Final Thought:
"Don't Stop Me Now" - Queen
So help me, this is the best Friday anthem of all time. I'll inevitably change my mind at some point, but totally the 'current best Friday anthem of all time'.

A Once-Broken Blogger

2009-04-09T16:09:00.006-04:00

It occurs to me that I should explain where the hell it is that I've been for the past several months. Among other things, I broke myself.

Submitted for the approval of The Midnight Society is the image above.

After roughly three-and-a-half months, I'm finally off the crutches, and have graduated to a severe limp and fairly baller cane.

There was also a time not unlike the whole Klingon Age of Ascension Ceremony, wherein the subject is "expected to express his or her most profound feelings while under...extreme duress".

Now you can ask about that whole thing, but - not really a soup question, is it?

;-)

Quality of Life Index, April 8

2009-04-08T12:01:00.002-04:00

Back in the blogging game, even though you all thought that April Fool's post was actually a gag. (+2)

Finally. Finally. FINALLY off the crutches. (+5)

Stall-Talkers. You know who you are. And you should be ashamed of yourselves. (-3)

The fact that I'm still sort-of unable to get through a day without quoting the Yeah Yeah Yeahs tune mentioned in the last Friday Music Special. (even)

Lost Season 5, until last week. (-1)

Lost Season 5, after last week's episode (yes, the one that included the Back To The Future reference). (+4)

Even Numbers. (-1)

Unpaid late fees to the DMV, specifically the ones that the DMV NEVER notifies you about and that subsequently result in suspended licenses that can't be un-suspended until the following business day. (-4)

Getting pulled over on a Friday, at 5:04 pm, where Monday is the next business day. (-1)

The "Turtle Shoe Sex" video. No, really - it's SO not what you're thinking. (+1)

Sarvosh's Semantics Powered by Spice. (even)

...............................................
This Week's Total: (+2)
Last Week's Total: (n/a)

Friday Music Special, April 3

2009-04-03T10:00:00.002-04:00

"Zero" - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Thanks to this song, I'm unable to get through a single day without saying "get your leather on" at least thirteen times. Five of these are well-timed, three are only partially acceptable uses of the phrase, four are mumbled under my breath, and the last one is a bit like that kid who always starts the slow motion clap at the wrong moment in "Not Another Teen Movie".

"Skeleton Boy" - Friendly Fires
It comes in like a NES-Classic soundtrack, and goes out like a kitsch-pop version of "Freakbeat Phantom" (The Rascals). The middle is full of toe-tappy-goodness. Listen. Now.

"Revelry" - Kings of Leon
revelry |ˈrevəlrē| noun ( pl. -ries) (also revelries)
lively and noisy festivities, esp. when these involve drinking a large amount of alcohol : sounds of revelry issued into the night | as if you need a reason beyond this and the fact that it's a Kings of Leon track. | Tennessee never sounded so darned good.

"We Walk" - The Ting Tings
A softer, more sensitive Ting Tings track that pushe...aww...who are we kidding. They're still the best Target Commercial band ever to not have a track featured in a Target Commercial.

"No Time For Tears" - The Enemy
This song has made me unabashedly crank the speakers at my desk more times than I can count, over the past several weeks. I hope it does the same for you, and that your co-workers are as understanding of your zaniness as mine are.

.........................................
Punk In Drublic:
"Know How" - Young MC
Because it's Friday, and to paraphrase my grimiest of colleagues: one must keep dancin'

Are You There, Blog?

2009-04-01T12:30:00.003-04:00

Oh, hi.

It's been a while. It's been too long a while, really. In the months since we last parleyed, I've been through hell but now I'm back again. And here's the pledge: thrice weekly. I know what you're thinking. It's an April Fool's thing. But no lie, here. Just love. Three times a week, from here on out.

It's Wednesday, and methinks an update to the Quality of Life Index is long-overdue:

Circles, patterns, cycles, rhythm, breaks and beats and lastly - soul. (+)

See you in the funny papers...

Friday Music Special, December 12

2008-12-12T10:54:00.002-05:00

"Everybody" - Rudenko
Easily the best dance track I've heard in months, from one of the slickest spinsters currently spinning.

"Sex On Fire" - Alesha Dixon
Indeed, a cover of the Kings of Leon tune from a few weeks back. This is thrice as good as her own stuff.

"The Party" - Justice
While it reminds one of Shiny Toy Guns, it also makes me tap my footsies - which is a good good thang.

"Gifted" - Kanye West (Feat. N.A.S.A., Santogold & Lykke Li)
While I'm not the biggest hip-hop fan, I know what I like. And for my money - Kanye West has been steadily bringing it for a while now. I just wish I could get him to shut the fuck up when he's OFF the mic.

"Please Come Back Home" - Glasvegas
Here's a classic example of a band whose record I could not listen to from start to finish - but love to hear one track at a time. Fantastico.

.........................................................
Not So Wayback, Still A Flashback:
"Rock With You" - Michael Jackson
If you don't get up and start moving to this track - you are a Stan Winston extra from Thriller. For real.

The Dark Heart of The Milky Way

2008-12-11T13:34:00.002-05:00

"At the center of our Milky Way Galaxy lies a supermassive black hole. Once a controversial claim, this conclusion is now solidly based on 16 years of observations that map the orbits of 28 stars very near the galactic center." (link)

"In the case of the central black hole in the Milky Way galaxy, astronomers have followed the motion of several stars in the centre of the galactic core for years. The [above] animation is based on observations made by researchers from the Max-Planck-Institute for extraterrestrial physics in the course of six years, using the New Technology Telescope of the European Southern Observatory." (link)

Quality of Life Index, December 10

2008-12-10T11:07:00.002-05:00

Crazy New England weather that can't figure out if it's supposed to be frigid or just moderately unbearable. (-3)

Saturday Night Live's continuous ante-upping, due in no small part to Andy Samberg and Kristen Wiig. (+2)

SNL's steady under-utilization of Bill Hader's flawless impression of post-"Scarface" Al Pacino. What gives? (-2)

Fall semester is over. No classes until January 26. (even)

Zane Lowe's latest "Masterpieces" series. (+4)

First the parking garage at work was closed. Then it was open. Then the power went out. Then the staircase started crumbling, so THAT is closed. You'd think MIT would have a better plan than burning the bridge when they inevitably come to it. (-4)

The unnerving fact that this week's commute hasn't been that bad. (+4)

Having written the previous statement has undoubtedly doomed me to a winter of deathly highway delays and red lights galore. (even)

.............................................................
This Week's Total: (+1)
Last Week's Total: (+4)

Which One Is Crazier?

2008-12-09T10:01:00.003-05:00

This:

...or the fact that I spied someone rollerskating (note: not 'blading') INTO the wind along The Esplanade this morning, wearing just a t-shirt and tights?

You decide.

80's Toon Tune Week, Part 5

2008-12-05T10:20:00.002-05:00

Down to the wire, now. What's to be done?

He knows:

And so does She:

This has been fun - back to business next week.

See you in the funny papers...

80's Toon Tune Week, Part 4

2008-12-04T16:35:00.001-05:00

Another double feature:

The original:

And best:

80's Toon Tune Week, Part 3

2008-12-03T12:17:00.001-05:00

The unavoidable:

From "Yo, Joe!" to "Thunder - Thunder - Thunder - Thundercats.!" Yeah.

80's Toon Tune Week, Part 2

2008-12-02T10:47:00.001-05:00

Continuing the week's festivities are the following. Yo Joe:

The Original:

The Bonus (Movie Edition):

80's Toon Tune Week, Part 1

2008-12-01T11:45:00.003-05:00

Every day this week, I'll be posting a different 80's cartoon theme song. Kicking off the festivities, a classic:

Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.

2008-11-27T20:12:00.001-05:00

Verily - a reason to give most sincere thanks:

My hairs they are a-tingling.

Quality of Life Index, November 26

2008-11-26T10:13:00.002-05:00

Pleated pants. (-3)

Three day work weeks. (+2)

Turkey-Day looming. (even)

Lack of traffic during holiday week. (+3)

Kevin Smith can't make a good movie that doesn't star Jay & Silent Bob. (n/a)

Listening to podcasts while 'working'. (+1)

Still loving the unibody MacBook Pro. (+1)

Happy Thanksgiving to y'all. (even)

.............................................................
This Week's Total: (+4)
Last Week's Total: (+3)

Giving Early Thanks (A 'The Rock' Tribute)

2008-11-25T15:18:00.003-05:00

I give thanks for the following:

The best Peoples' Elbow ever:

The first ever Rock Bottom:

The best of The Peoples' Champ:

I Smell A McScam

2008-11-24T11:06:00.002-05:00

"McDonald's is known for its cheap meat -- but after a bad trip to the burger joint, one guy's wife allegedly became cheap meat.

McD's just got served by a guy who allegedly left his cell phone -- which contained nude photos of his wife -- at the Arkansas restaurant, only to find the nude pics posted online.

Phillip Sherman was assured by employees they'd keep the phone safe, yet the photos -- along with Sherman's phone number and address -- somehow found their way onto the Internet.

The couple claims they had to move to a new house to get away from his wife's new stalkers. Sherman wants 3 mil for their troubles." (link)

So this begs the query - did he leave the phone there on purpose, in order to sue McD's? Remember a few years back when people started pouring hot coffee on their laps, in an effort to capitalize on feigned stupidity?

Mmm. Personal bailout plans. I'm lovin' it.

Friday Music Special, November 21

2008-11-21T12:19:00.002-05:00

"Guns Don't Kill People, Rappers Do" - Goldie Lookin' Chain
The illest, slickest, most rickity-rickity-rollin' track EVER. Ok, not really. Still - good stuff, here.

"Do It Like A Truck" - Geo DaSilva
Like a truck. Yes. He does it just like a truck. Right up through the crash and burn part.

"Same Jeans" - The View
An anti-laundry anthem for the ages. Well played, Sirs.

"I'm Outta Time" - Oasis
Which one is dressed up like the Amish guy, Liam or Noel? Wait. Hold on. They're the same person? Like Charlize Theron and Ashley Judd, right?

"Sometime Around Midnight" - The Airborne Toxic Event
Absotively my favorite track on this week's list.

.............................
Revolver:
"Chacaron" - Andy's Val Gourmet
Oldie. Goodie Classic.

YouTube Nostalgia

2008-11-20T11:52:00.001-05:00

This used to bring me much joy:

Yep. It still does.

Quality of Life Index, November 19

2008-11-19T12:20:00.002-05:00

"Quantum of Solace" (+1)

The Maldives. Not 'sinking', but kinda 'sunk'. (-5)

Maldivian plans to buy a new homeland. (+3)

List of other island nations that could disappear within the next 100 years: Tuvalu, Kiribati, the Marshall Islands, and Fiji. Better go visit soon. (-2)

Final Crisis, one issue at a time. (-3)

Final Crisis, in the inevitable 'collected edition'. (even)

Secret Invasion, either way. (+4)

New uni-body MacBook Pro. (+5)

.............................................................
This Week's Total: (+3)
Last Week's Total: (+8)

Prank Call, Dutch Florist Style

2008-11-18T11:59:00.002-05:00

The set up: Scott Mills (Radio1 daytime DJ) calls a Dutch Florist and asks her to write a very special message on the accompanying card. The result: the second funniest prank call in history:

Bond. Sorta, Bond.

2008-11-17T10:48:00.004-05:00

This past weekend, the latest James Bond film drew the largest opening in Bond Box Office history, taking in over $70 million in ticket sales. (link)

This is good, right? This means people are still going to the movies, and still willing to give generously to the cause of 'cinema'. Here's the thing: "Quantum of Solace" is as much a Bond Movie as it is a Kevin Smith one.

Throughout all twenty-something films, James Bond has morphed to fit the audience. Connery exuded cool, Moore was sophisticated, Dalton was dark and mysterious, and Brosnan was probably the most refined (Lazenby was...umm...give me a minute...). Despite the cast changes, the creative directions, and the stamps put upon the character by each actor to don the role - the heart of Bond remained. And now we come to Craig. Daniel Craig, again, is a Bond that reflects his time.

After three ultra-successful Jason Bourne outings, Ian Fleming's 007 had to keep up with a new stylized, serialized, and young secret agent - complete with fight choreography befitting the best non-wire-fu martial arts romp. And keep up he did. In Casino Royale, Craig proved he had the chops to scrap, romance, and still look polished afterward. Quantum of Solace seems to forget that it's important to mix all three. A damaged and flawed Bond is all well and good, as long as it's still Bond. Clearly, Bond has been shaken, but I am not stirred.

As a setup for a third installment, Quantum serves its purpose - and in truth does it with some veritable high points - but let's hope that Craig's next outing as 007 gives us a bit less "Bourne Again Bond", and a bit more of the slick cool with which we are used to seeing 007 get his spy on.

Also - the gunshot scene goes at the beginning, jerks.

Friday Music Special, November 14

2008-11-14T10:12:00.002-05:00

"Hounds of Love" - Futureheads
Like catchy Top-40 cal - if catchy Top-40 cal was having a seizure, and then running naked through the Common. Good stuff.

"BreakEven" - The Script
Listening to this track feels easy. Not Sunday Morning easy - not that there's anything wrong with a little Commodores/Lionel Richie-style easy - but this is more like Thursday afternoon easy. Also, none of what I've just typed makes any sense. Give a listen.

"Cash In My Pocket" - Wiley (feat. Daniel Merriweather)
Total ear candy. If you can get through this track without the urge to groove, you're a more controlled human than I. Or you're a robot.

"Thinking About You" - Radiohead
There are days when I want to listen to nothing BUT Radiohead. This is not one of those days, but it's one of those four minutes and thirty four seconds blocks. Enjoy.

"Lost" - Coldplay
I hate that I like this song. I hate that I like this song. I hate that I like this song.

.................................
Clean & Well-Lighted:
"Let Go" - Frou Frou
Probably the second best song on the Garden State soundtrack. Probably the only Frou Frou song I'll ever listen to.

The Stupidest Exercise Machine Ever

2008-11-13T10:50:00.002-05:00

Droogs & Devotchkas, I give you the stupidest exercise machine ever: The Mobile Treadmill...a treadmill designed specially to move/walk down the street while you're treading.

Hold on. It gets better. The company that makes this massive piece of shit is looking for investors. Please. Give generously. Please.

Quality of Life Index, November 12

2008-11-12T11:16:00.003-05:00

Four day weekends. (+4)

The end of four day weekends. (-2)

New James Bond movie coming out this week. (+3)

Fear that new James Bond movie will try way too hard to be like old Jason Bourne movie. (even)

Front stairs in parking garage at work closed, back stairs too far to walk to. People walk down car ramp. People will get run over. (even)

The Big Bang Theory. (+5)

Phoenix Lander has, ironically, 'died'. Unlike other two rovers, this one will not miraculously keep working. (-2)

.............................................................
This Week's Total: (+8)
Last Week's Total: (+9)

Finally! With More Bacon Than Ever!

2008-11-11T11:57:00.001-05:00

See more Kevin Bacon videos at Funny or Die

Batman sues Christopher Nolan over success of The Dark Knight

2008-11-10T10:55:00.003-05:00

View Larger Map

"...the "Batman" in question is actually a little-known a city in Turkey. And they're pissed.

"You may never have heard of Batman, the city. It's in southeast Turkey, and the home to the country's oldest oil refinery (built in 1955). Despite that, though, they're not having the greatest of times - Crime is up, as are suicides amongst women. Also, like everywhere else in the world, they're suffering from economic problems... which is where Christopher Nolan comes in:

"The royalty of the name ‘Batman’ belongs to us … There is only one Batman in the world. The American producers used the name of our city without informing us,” [Mayor of Batman city, Hüseyin] Kalkan told the Doğan news agency... Mayor Kalkan, speaking to the Hürriyet Daily News and the Economic Review, said last year foreign media picked up on Batman and the city’s increasing suicide rates among women. He said a columnist asked why Batman’s mayor did not sue the movie Batman for royalties while struggling with economic problems. “We found this criticism right and started to look for legal possibilities of a case like that,” he said."

The term "bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha" comes to mind.

(link)

Friday Music Special, November 7

2008-11-07T10:58:00.003-05:00

"Impatience" (acoustic version) - We Are Scientists
Besides being a great tune (it's got the whole 'should be on a soundtrack' thing down pretty pitch perfect), the video linked to features Edith, who is back.

"Dirty Blue Jeans" - Jeremy Warmsley
It's like a song sung in morse code. And a video to match.

"Say Aha" - Santogold
I can't help but think that if Shirley Bassey had been born in the eighties, this is the kind of music she'd be making right now. Though inevitably, this song will end up trying to sell me a Volkswagon/get me to shop at Target. Either way, kudos.

"Greatest Day" - Take That
Haven't heard much of these guys for a bit, but they seem to be back on the musical wagon. Good stuff. Even if it sounds like a CW commercial. Could also do well as one of those kick-ass HBO montages of old. Good stuff.

"Into My Arms" - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
Sometimes a video tries to be far to 'artsy'. Sometimes it's not got enough of the 'artsy'. And sometimes the level of 'artsy' is just right. The category to which this song's video shall fall is for better heads than mine to determine. I just like the tune. Though I would love to hear a Blind Boys of Alabama cover of it, too.

......................................................
Shameless:
"P.A.T.T." - Sharam
Best in context.

I Wonder If Palin Knows This Is A Planet...

2008-11-06T14:40:00.002-05:00

"This dramatic image of Jupiter is touted as the sharpest picture of the entire gas giant ever taken from the ground.The picture was made using a prototype instrument known as MAD (Multi-conjugate Adaptive optics Demonstrator) mounted on one of the European Southern Observatory's 8-meter diameter Very Large Telescope units in Chile. Working at infrared wavelengths the MAD instrument removes atmospheric blurring, the bane of earthbound telescopes, by using multiple guide stars and deformable mirrors to sense and correct for the distortions produced by turbulence in Earth's atmosphere." (link)

As James Earl once said: "Impressive. Mmmost impressive."

Thoughts On: Smoking

2008-11-04T10:14:00.002-05:00

On this most venerable day of public service, when members of society do their civic duty, I thought it reasonable to reflect upon duties done by citizens past - in the interest of their brethren.

Submitted for the approval of The Midnight Society:

My, Oh My...

2008-11-03T11:47:00.001-05:00

Friday Music Special, Halloween Edition

2008-10-31T10:50:00.002-04:00

"Last Caress" - The Misfits
This song has nothing to do with Halloween. But I really like it.

"The Monster Mash" - Bobby 'Boris' Pickett
The original and best. Often imitated, never recreated.

"I Want Candy" - Mel C
A cover, true. But a moderately unironic cover, by a bloody Spice Girl.

"Halloween Theme Song" - John Carpenter
Did he actually write or record it? Who cares?

"Mack The Knife" - Bobby Darin
It's got a knife in it. And a mafia guy who probably stabs people, throws them in the river, steals their money, and takes their women. All with style slicker than butter dripping off a hot biscuit. That's Halloween if you ask me. That's Halloween.

........................................
Holy Obvious Batman!
"Thriller" - Michael Jackson
Michael. When you were good, you were the best.

Quality of Life Index, October 29

2008-10-29T10:54:00.002-04:00

One. More. Week. (+1)

If you don't vote, you don't have any right to complain. (even)

2001: A Space Odyssey on Blu-Ray. Still the best, most confusing, mind-blasting, and non-kitsch sci-fi flick of all time. (+3)

4 hyphenated terms in previous statement. (-1)

Jon Hamm on SNL. See post from earlier this week, and below for video goodies. (+3)

Coldplay on SNL. (-2)

Adele on SNL. (+5)

..................................................
This Week's Total: (+9)
Last Week's Total: (-10)

Too Close For Comfort

2008-10-28T16:36:00.002-04:00

Here's to you, Mr. "I like to stand three inches away from the person in front of me in line at the coffee shop, and inch closer in direct correlation to the distance that that person tries inching away."

Congratulations on making my day just a little bit creepier. Ass-hat.

Gems from SNL? Really?

2008-10-27T10:47:00.003-04:00

Ok. So in a year where SNL should have an easy time making politics enjoyable for all - they've been unable to keep up the funny past the now-overdone Tina Fey as Sarah Palin intros.

That changed a few nights ago, when Jon Hamm hosted the show. 2 of the gems from the night, follow. Granted, both skits parody Hamm's role on Mad Men. But, A)they do it well & 2)I couldn't find a video of the "Jon Hamm's John Ham" skit, which was golden.

Now, if Chris Martin could have stopped bouncing around like he had to take a burning hot piss, we'd have had a grand episode on our hands.

Friday Music Special, October 24

2008-10-24T09:52:00.002-04:00

"He Doesn't Know Why" - Fleet Foxes
This song sounds like a sampled Christmas carol, but like one you can sing all year round and not feel like a tool for tapping your foot to.

"My Mistakes Were Made For You" - The Last Shadow Puppets
A few months back, I spoke highly of The Rascal's slick-as-shit intro to "Freakbeat Phantom". In the same way, I dig this track.

"Gasoline" - The Airborne Toxic Event
Really? A track this good from the Fifa '09 soundtrack? Well. Ok, then.

"The Blue Route" - The Walkmen
If you like The Walkmen, then you will like this song. Beyond that, there's not discernible reason to even listen to it. Unless you want to get to like The Walkmen. Then I suppose there would be at least one discernible reason to listen to it. But just the one.

"Tear You Down" - Brookes Brothers
Just a simple and effective dance beat.

................................
Back-track:
"Like Suicide" (acoustic) - Soundgarden
Besides having one of the best band names ever (even if it's a ripoff). Besides being fronted by the single most relevant voice in rock since Elvis. Since Axl. Besides being on the soundtrack to the only Bridget Fonda movie I've seen that isn't "Kiss of The Dragon". Besides all that, this track kick more ass than most anything else.

Batman VS. Spider-Man

2008-10-23T10:03:00.002-04:00

No contest. Clearly, no contest. But do they really have to fight?

Quality of Life Index, October 22

2008-10-22T10:47:00.003-04:00

Sox out. (-3)

Pats dominate in Denver. (+2)

It's Denver. (even)

Is this election thing still going on? (-2)

Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull. Even on Blu-Ray, this movie sucked. Hard. George Lucas has successfully shit on every good thing he's ever done. And by 'every', I mean 'both'. Spielberg, you should be ashamed of yourself. (-4)

The Incredible Hulk on Blu-Ray. See, Iron Man it ain't. Dark Knight it will never be. But a happy solution to the problem of 'what to watch in between the two', it be. (+2)

Fall is not supposed to be over yet. (-2)

Radio 1's week-long fascination with Eminem. (-3)

"A 19-year-old hacker who posted some racy photos of Disney starlet Miley Cyrus on the Internet said he was raided by the FBI this week after boasting that he would never be caught." This has no effect on the quality of my life in any way. Still, I am fascinated. This may be indicative of a much broader problem. (even)

..................................................
This Week's Total: (-10)
Last Week's Total: (+6)

Campaign 08, How Do I Love Thee...

2008-10-21T11:16:00.003-04:00

Or rather, would have loved thee much much more, had it all been like this:

Yes. This happened last week. It was a busy weekend, ok?

Been Here, Done This

2008-10-20T12:01:00.001-04:00

Whatever. You know what, Tampa - good luck selling out any games besides opening day next year.

Friday Music Special, October 17

2008-10-17T10:13:00.003-04:00

"Wire To Wire" - Razorlight
Like the best Moby beat, but with someone that can actually sing laying down vocals. Said singer is ripe for parody a la Andy Samberg. Just saying.

"The Bakery" - Arctic Monkeys
This band continues to impress me. I'm uncertain about how I feel about a band that so far has done me no wrong. I feel like I felt post Rage Against The Machine's eponymous debut, but pre-Evil Empire. Right?

"Way Down In The Hole" - The Blind Boys of Alabama
One of those rare cases where the cover actually surpasses the original. Sorry, Tom Waits - the Blind Boys beat you fair and square on this one.

"Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)" - Beyonce
Beyonce is back with a fresh new beat! A new hit from superstar Beyonce Knowles! Ahhh, who am I kidding, here...just watch it on mute. For the jingle jangle.

"(Get Off Your) High Horse Lady" - Oasis
If ever a tune has cried out in more earnest for Quentin Tarantino to use it, I am unaware.

..................................................
Umm. Jingle jangle?
"Walking Man" - Seasick Steve
Best combination of facial hair and a good ol' beat since T.Bone's soundtrack for "Oh Brother Where Art Thou?"

Seriously. Enough, already.

2008-10-16T15:07:00.002-04:00

Lookie lookie. One guy who can't close the deal, and another who refuses to take the kill shots laid out for him.

Quality of Life Index, October 15

2008-10-15T10:36:00.004-04:00

Tim Wakefield, last night. (-5)

Tim Wakefield, in general (+3)

3 more weeks of nonsensical political interest, on the part of ass-hats that would rather be watching "Dancing With The Stars" (-2)

No. Really. I can't wait for this whole election thing to be over. (even)

The new Macbook Pro does not support Blu-Ray. For shame, Apple. I'll wait on the upgrade until such time as I can watch 1080p video on my laptop, even though I've only once in the past seven years actually watched a DVD on my laptop. It's like the midwest. I don't really care all that much - I just like knowing that it's there as insulation from LA. (-3)

The Dark Knight being re-released in January. Warner Brothers is shamelessly trying to beat out Titanic as the highest grossing flick of all time. (+3)

Christopher Nolan's one-finger salute to James Cameron. (+3)

Terence Howard out of Iron Man 2. (+2)

Don Cheadle, in to replace him. (+5)

..................................................
This Week's Total: (+6)
Last Week's Total: (+15)

An Office "Ha-Ha" Moment

2008-10-14T10:51:00.002-04:00

Ok. My office has a large glass wall. In the middle of the glass wall is a glass door. To enter the office, push down on the door's handle, and then PUSH. This being case, when someone walks up and PULLS the door (this happens at least once a week), I have to duck under my desk and laugh.

The most recent offender did not stop at just PULL, though. She pulled, and pulled, and pulled. Three people inside the office repeatedly said things like "It's a push.", and "Push." and "Push it.". This prompted me to lose virtually all composure AND come dangerously close to breaking into a little Salt N' Pepa. And yes - you CAN hear through the big glass wall. After about thirty seconds, she actually started to walk away. One of us had to go and open the door for her, and explain the whole concept of PUSH/PULL.

Ah - the joys of an office life.

..............................................
The video bonus you totally saw coming:

The Reason I'm Not Working Today

2008-10-13T10:27:00.001-04:00

C'mon now - man discovered the New World. Well. Sortof.

The 2008 American Mustache of The Year

2008-10-09T10:17:00.002-04:00

"Disclaimer: AMI supports healthy, performance enhancing-free mustaches that contain no pesticides. Mustaches should be worn at the individual’s own risk, and AMI is not responsible for mustaches that make men look like child molesters or Dave Navarro."

Yes. Yes. And yes. (link)

Thanks to Sauceboy for the tip.